#jokes

I love life in spite of all that mars it. I love friendship, jokes and laughter. ↗

— Tahar Ben Jelloun

#i #i love #jokes #laughter #life

I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour dates and keep imagining standing in front of all these people. Then every day I write 15 jokes minimum. ↗

— Tim Vine

#coffee #dates #day #deadline #every

The denizens of Feyland find the absence of magic to be quite funny. I mean no offense. ” “None taken.” “For example – In the Land Over the Crystal River (for that's how we refer to humans), there was once a man and a woman. And the man was in love with the woman, and wanted her for himself. But because he had no magic, he couldn't feel whether or not there was a “pull” towards her or not, so he didn't know whether she loved him or not. So what did he do?” “What?” “He had to ASK her!” Kian couldn't help laughing. “I don't get it!” “Ask her!” said Kian. “It's funny – because he didn't have magic.” His laughter grew louder and less controlled, tinkling like bells in the winter snow. “He had to ask her!” I realized that there were some cultural barriers Kian and I might never transcend. ↗

— Kailin Gow

#jokes #kian #love #magic #funny

Writing for young children I find I often use particular jokes with words and exaggerated, funny events, but some of these haunt the more complex stories for older children too. ↗

— Margaret Mahy

#complex #events #exaggerated #find #funny

I feel that after all those horrible reviews and jokes, I wasn't crazy all these years to stand up for the music I believe in. This album has proven that somewhere in the human race, the human heart is still racing and breaking and I am so grateful. ↗

— Barry Manilow

#album #am #believe #breaking #crazy

You can't build a plot out of jokes. You need tragic relief. And you need to let people know that when a lot of frightened people are running around with edged weaponry, there are deaths. Stupid deaths, usually. I'm not writing 'The A-Team' - if there's a fight going on, people will get hurt. Not letting this happen would be a betrayal. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#betrayal #build #deaths #edged #fight

You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash; that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out, practically. ↗

— Hector Elizondo

#dot #every #jokes #means #neil

I frowned as my fingers throbbed. “Wait a sec. There’s a chance I can’t work with fire and you let me do that?”“How else am I going to figure out your limitations?” “What the hell!” I pulled my hand free, furious. “That’s not cool, Blake. What’s next? Trying to stop a moving vehicle by standing in front of it, but whoops, I can’t do that and now I’m dead? ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#death-jokes #funny #ssupernatural #training #ya

Nothing is a joke with me. It just all comes out like one. ↗

— Lorrie Moore

#jokes #life #life

I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience. There's a fine line you have to tread because you don't know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended. ↗

— Billy Connolly

#audience #auditorium #because #been #between