#jokes

I like smart jokes, I like dumb jokes, and I like dumb jokes done smartly. ↗

— Mike Myers

#dumb #i #jokes #like #smart

It was a family joke that Lydia's domestic tendencies were somehow misplaced when she was created. ↗

— Lawana Blackwell

#family #home #humor #jokes #family

Joke exchanges are carried on in deadly earnest, like a verbal duel-mouth-to-mouth combat. Bang, bang: you’re (linguistically) dead. ↗

— David Crystal

#jokes #language-play #humor

The right honorable gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests, and to his imagination for his facts. ↗

— Richard Brinsley Sheridan

#imagination #jests #jokes #memory #imagination

What do you suppose is the use of a child without any meaning? Even a joke should have some meaning-- and a child's more imporant than a joke, I hope. You couldn't deny that, even if you tried with both hands. ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#funny #jokes #meaning #trying #funny

I was once honest with myself, on April Fool's day. I thought it would be the best practical joke ever, but I realized I'd already been the butt of an even bigger one. My birth. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #honesty #humor #practical-jokes #funny

I want to roll my eyes, but I'm pretty soon they're going to get stuck in the back of my head, and penis puns are really not worth my permanent facial damage. ↗

— Lauren Morrill

#funny #penis-jokes #funny

...the primary paradox that man is superior to all the things around him and yet is at their mercy. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#humor #humour #jokes #humor

Life would be perfect if monster would stop farting. ↗

— David Chuka

#humor #jokes #monsters #life

Don't be ridiculous. Brussels sprouts are awful. Jail is just jail. ↗

— Mora Early

#jail #jokes #sarcasm #food