#jokes

A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true. ↗

— Jimmy Carr

#implausible #jokes #sound #surprising #true

I don't think I could ever do a network sitcom because the humor is often based on some trite circumstance. I don't want to be a part of a show where it's mostly about coming up with the jokes. ↗

— Sherilyn Fenn

#based #because #circumstance #coming #could

I've never considered stand-up. Luckily I'm given great lines to say. I'm not sure how great my timing would be if I actually had to come up with my own jokes. ↗

— Emma Caulfield

#come #considered #given #great #had

I now have two different audiences. There's the one that has been watching my action films for 20 years, and the American family audience. American jokes, less fighting. ↗

— Jackie Chan

#action films #american #american family #audience #audiences

I want to tell my jokes. I want to have time with my children. I want to entertain people. And at one point, I'll walk away from show business. But I don't want to walk away empty-handed. ↗

— Dave Chappelle

#business #children #entertain #entertain people #i

It's perfectly okay if you don't understand every single one of them. For one thing, I make a lot of corny jokes, and you have to be 40 years old to get some of them. ↗

— Brian P. Cleary

#every #get #i #jokes #lot

I'm not here to affect you politically or socially. I'm here to make you laugh. I use the news as the palette for my jokes. ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#here #i #jokes #laugh #make

The trouble with the jokes is that once they're written, I know how they're supposed to work, and all I can do is not hit them. I'm more comfortable improvising. If I have just two or three ideas and I know how the character feels, what the character wants, everything in between is like trapeze work. ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#character #comfortable #everything #feels #hit

When there are no women on the tour it can get awful and ugly - constant horrible jokes and gross behaviour. It needs to be leavened with a feminine presence. ↗

— Evan Dando

#behaviour #constant #feminine #get #gross

When I was 14, I thought I was the coolest kid in school because I told everyone the jokes in FHM. ↗

— Megan Fox

#coolest #everyone #i #jokes #kid