#jokes

...the primary paradox that man is superior to all the things around him and yet is at their mercy. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#humor #humour #jokes #humor

Life would be perfect if monster would stop farting. ↗

— David Chuka

#humor #jokes #monsters #life

Don't be ridiculous. Brussels sprouts are awful. Jail is just jail. ↗

— Mora Early

#jail #jokes #sarcasm #food

Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl. ↗

— Gillian Flynn

#burping #cheap-beer #cool-girls #dirty-jokes #gang-bang

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. ↗

— Robert Frost

#forgive #great #i #joke #jokes

We were watching the first series recently, and it has a charm, a kind of amateur charm. At that point we didn't involve ourselves technically at all - we just messed about and told our jokes - and it looks a bit like that. ↗

— Jennifer Saunders

#amateur #bit #charm #first #involve

I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes. ↗

— Dave Attell

#comics #i #joke #jokes #like

I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh. ↗

— Simon Le Bon

#age #especially #i #i think #joke

Musician jokes are a kind of joke that usually have to do with how much money someone makes. Musicians are always starving, so they're really mean to each other about who makes what. ↗

— Jackson Browne

#always #each #how #joke #jokes

Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously. ↗

— Rob Corddry

#air #answer #funny #going #i