Erma Bombeck

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#kill #right #will #you

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#being #bunk #chore #faint #favorite

Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#being #call #child #high-risk #home

People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#bathing #bathing suit #care #comfortable #feel

Children make your life important. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#important #life #make #your

I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#blow #brain #computer #facts #go

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#beverage #come #considered #family #gravy

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#died #doctor #go #never #office

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: "Checkout Time is 18 years." ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#each #i #practical #put #raising

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#children #courage #house #into #lives