#absurd

I’m older than myself. At least I will be, once my clone gets here.
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— Jarod Kintz

#age #bizarre #clones #funny #humor

Love is tender, like the pot roast I’m keeping warm in my shoes. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #age

Love is like breakfast with Mildred. Who’s Mildred? How the heck should I know? I don’t eat breakfast.
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— Jarod Kintz

#breakfast #food #funny #humor #love

Is my paranoia getting completely out of hand, or are you mongoloids really talking about me? ↗

— John Kennedy Toole

#ass #attitude #contempt #curmudgeon #hilarious

Whereas modern cynicism brought despair about the ability of the human species to realize laudable ideals, postmodern cynicism doesn't — not because it's optimistic, but because it can't take ideals seriously in the first place. The prevailing attitude is Absurdism. A postmodern magazine may be irreverent, but not bitterly irreverent, for it's not purposefully irreverent; its aim is indiscriminate, because everyone is equally ridiculous. And anyway, there's no moral basis for passing judgment. Just sit back and enjoy the show. ↗

— Robert Wright

#darwinism #evolution #morality #postmodernism #attitude

Why go to remote parts of the world? If they’re remote, just turn them on and watch them on your couch. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#silly #change

I rode my horse to the saloon, but it was out of business. The cowboy I spoke with said the bartender served the saloon’s last drink on March 5th, 1882. Guess I shouldn’t have taken so long to shower and get ready. Ah, but that’s life, no?
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— Jarod Kintz

#bartender #cowboy #life #saloon #shower

I only sing in the shower. I would join a choir, but I don’t think my bathtub can hold that many people.
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— Jarod Kintz

#bathtub #choir #kinky #music #musical

At my last birthday party I had fun and really let myself go. Literally. I opened the cages where I keep my clones and I let myself go, all 333 versions of myself. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#absurdity #birthday #clones #change

Can you break my five-dollar bill into five singles? Women love guys with lots of money.
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— Jarod Kintz

#break #cash #change #currency #dollar