#absurd

I wanted to tell her “I love you” back, but I guess in waiting for the perfect moment (the next commercial break), I ended up completely forgetting. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #insensitive #love #age

I make love like I make lasagna: with extra meat. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #lasagna #love #age

Love is the most amazing feeling in the world. Let me double check. Yep, love is a feeling. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#feeling #funny #humor #love #age

33 old people went into a nursing home, and only 34 people came out alive. One old woman died while giving birth to twins. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#age #birth #bizarre #child #children

If love were a variety of dog, I’d want mine hot. I’d take my love with ketchup and mustard. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #age

A wife is a friend first, a lover second, and third and probably most important, a maid. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #ridiculous #wife

Absurdity is the ecstasy of intellectualism. ↗

— Criss Jami

#absurdity #art #artist #ecstasy #experiment

I eat fog for breakfast, and I shit out steamy love scenes from the 80s. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fog #love #change

When all else fails, there's always delusion. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#life #life

I've decided to donate my arsenal of machine guns to a hunting charity. That should help raze a million bucks. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#guns #hunting #change