#funny

Because he sounded so lost-the Eric I knew had never been one to do anything other than assume others should serve him-I patted around under the covers for his hand. When I found it, I slid my own over it. His palm was turned up to meet my palm, and his fingers clasped mine. And though I would not have thought it possible to go to sleep holding hands with a vampire, that's exactly what I did. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#funny #sookie-stackhouse #true-blood #funny

Because he has the best equipment in the City and he knows how to use it! ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #kate #funny

The uniform enhanced his athletic body, and my thoughts drifted to how magnificent he would look with his uniform puddled around his feet. ↗

— Maria V. Snyder

#funny #uniform #funny

A hundred people is rather a large handful for the four of us to take on," Malcolm pointed out. "Do you have any ideas about how we're going to handle that task?" "Simple," Halt told him. "We'll surround them. ↗

— John Flanagan

#funny

Never lie in bed at night asking yourself questions you can't answer. ↗

— Charles M. Schulz

#funny-but-true #funny

I like watching people stretch in the park. It's my new favorite pastime since I bought a portable rack. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#pastime #stretch #funny

In the office, Michael sat behind our father’s desk, clicking away at the computer with his right hand, and making notes with his left. Ambidextrous freak. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#funny

Ceres wanted a united front in the plant war." "The plant war," Percy said. "You're going to arm all the little grapes with tiny assault rifles? ↗

— Rick Riordan

#grapes #humor #riffles #war #funny

Wait a second," Clary said. "I never understand why people say that," Luke said, to no one in particular. "I wasn't going anywhere. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-bones #clary-fray #funny #luke-garroway #the-mortal-instruments

It’s funny. When you leave your home and wander really far, you always think, ‘I want to go home.’ But then you come home, and of course it’s not the same. You can’t live with it, you can’t live away from it. And it seems like from then on there’s always this yearning for some place that doesn’t exist. I felt that. Still do. I’m never completely at home anywhere. ↗

— Danzy Senna

#travel #funny