#funny

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. ↗

— Phyllis Diller

#accidentally #day #enjoyed #ever #gin

I do not think that obsession is funny or that not being able to stop one's intensity is funny. ↗

— Jim Dine

#being #funny #i #i do #intensity

If you have an impulse, not if you're going to ruin someone elses' scene, if you have an impulse of a funny little add-on or taking something in a weird direction, try it. ↗

— Rachel Dratch

#funny #going #impulse #little #ruin

I never thought of myself as like, a funny person. ↗

— Lena Dunham

#funny person #i #like #myself #never

I never thought I was funny, but I enjoy being funny. ↗

— Nora Dunn

#being funny #enjoy #funny #i #never

I wish I had a funny story. ↗

— Leslie Easterbrook

#funny story #had #i #i wish #story

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. ↗

— Clint Eastwood

#heaven #lightning #made #marriages #say

I just think that it's such a good show and timeless and still very funny, and that just makes me happy to have that whole first season in one concentrated space for people to enjoy so that it's not hit and miss trying to find it in syndication always. ↗

— Jenna Elfman

#concentrated #enjoy #find #first #funny

I want to be a matador in the bull market, but not so I can make a killing. Rather, I just want to wear flamboyant and form-fitting pants that emphasize my genitalia as I stroll down Wall Street. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#jarod-kintz #matador #provocative #strange #funny

Will sat where he was, gazing at the silver bowl in front of him; a white rose was floating in it, and he seemed prepared to stare at it until it went under. In the Kitchen Bridget was still singing one of her awful sad songs; the lyrics drifted in through the door: "Twas on an evening fair I went to take the air, I heard a maid making her moan; Said, 'Saw ye my father? Or ye my mother? Or saw ye my brother John? Or saw ye the lad that I love best, And his name it is Sweet William?" I may murder her, Tessa thought. Let her make a song about that. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#funny