#funny

Katie purred in pleasure as she licked the beating vein in Jared’s neck. ↗

— Jodie B. Cooper

#elf #fantasy #funny #sidhi #teenage-love

That´s the problem with planning a late night supper after the opera, not only does the hero or the heroine die singing, but you end up famished after the last notes of the finale. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#funny #humor #humorous #humour #life

Oh you rebel you! ↗

— Mallory hopkins

#funny #hailey-larsen #inside-joke #love #rebel

Agent Julianne was always looking for ways to spin things. She would have been better off owning a laundromat. ↗

— Jonas Eriksson

#hollywood #romance-funny #romantic-comedy #romantic

When she emerged, Keith was watching the tiny round window of the under-the-counter washing machine. "Put your clothes in for a wash," he said. "They were disgusting." Ginny always thought that the only way of getting clothes clean was by drowning them in scalding water and then whipping them around in a violent centrifugal motion that caused the entire washing machine to vibrate and the floor to shake. You beat them clean. You made them suffer. This machine used about half a cup of water and was about as violent as a toaster, plus it stopped every few minutes, as if it were exhausted from the effort of turning itself. Sluff, sluff, sluff sluff. Rest. Rest. Rest. Click. Sluff, sluff, sluff, sluff. Rest. Rest. Rest. "Who thought to put a window on a washing machine?" Keith asked. "Does anyone just sit and watch their wash?" You mean, besides us?" "Well," he said, "yeah. Is there any coffee? ↗

— Maureen Johnson

#ginny #humor #humour #keith #funny

I told the ice-cream man to change his selection so there’s nothing all-natural, and as his truck drove away the whole neighborhood had to cup their ears at the blaring flat notes. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #ice-cream #change

I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts. ↗

— Daniel Tosh

#daniel-tosh #funny #hilarious #change

Most of the people you read about being turned meet vamps in clubs or over the Internet...Ew, did you...?" "Yes, I met a vampire on the Internet, went to his evil love den, and let him turn me, because I'm that brainless. ↗

— Molly Harper

#internet #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #sarcasm

When it comes to most women I'm just experienced, but with priory nuns I'm a priori. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #love #nuns #sex

P—Jamie!” I called. He waded back toward me. “I’m starting to think my name is Pajamie.” “Your name should be Pajerky. You said it wasn’t deep.” “Pajerky?” He gave me a skeptical look. “That’s Pathetic.” “We’ll see how smug you are once I’m on dry land. ↗

— Diana Peterfreund

#beach #funny #jamie #love-story #poe