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#funny

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny




I really don’t think you should put your hand inside the manticore, dear. You don’t know where it’s been.” –Enid Healy ↗


— Seanan McGuire


#hilarious #funny

A brick could be used to revive the spiritual movement in America. But are we as a people willing to accept the unacceptable into our lives? Sadly, I’m afraid I’m crying at the answer, which I know to be unknowable. ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

He had a new girl, and I told him she looked like Marilyn Monroe. He smiled because he thought I meant she was beautiful, and I smiled because I meant she looked like a corpse.
 ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#beautiful #beauty #bizarre #corpse #dating

To me, beer tastes like piss. Maybe that's why I only enjoy it in the shower with my uncle. ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#funny #gross #odd #piss #strange

Bugger off kitty!" - Ryou "But before we begin this duel to the death, I have just one question. Could I get a hug?" - Melvin "Help! This supermodel is one of my fangirls!" - Ryou "A locked door?! Impossiblllllll- No wait, that's totally possible. What am I talking about?" - Melvin "Let's ditch the tosser!" - Ryou "What a lovely day." - Melvin "Gangway; women and shemales first!" -Ryou "This door is a bitch!" - Melvin "Can I be the main character now?" - Ryou "'STAB'. (Denied.) 'KILL'. (Denied.) 'MUTIL-' Ah dammit, there aren't enough spaces! Umm... 'PAIN'. (Denied.) Why are these the only words I know?!" - Melvin "I'm here to kick ass and drink cups of tea. And I'm all out of tea." - Ryou ↗


— Little Kuriboh Ryou and Melvin


#humor #little-kurioh #marik #mariku #melvin-ishtar

A writer’s brain is full of little gifts, like a piñata at a birthday party. It’s also full of demons, like a piñata at a birthday party in a mental hospital. The truth is, it’s demons that keep a tortured writer’s spirit alive, not Tootsie Rolls. Sure they’ll give you a tiny burst of energy, but they won’t do squat for your writing. So treat your demons with the respect they deserve, and with enough prescriptions to keep you wearing pants. ↗


— Colin Nissan


#humor #writers #writing #funny

What is it?” “Something with which to penetrate you.” “But you can penetrate me now. As often as you like.” “Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t explore other options.” “Hmm,” I said. “Soooo instead of diamonds or shoes, you got me a . . .” I stared at him, and waited for him to reveal the nature of his present. He grinned. “Buzz, buzz, Ellie Bee. ↗


— Michele Bardsley


#sex #funny

Thank you for giving me the energy for my morning jog. I’m sorry I didn’t warn you about my low ceiling, or my ceiling fan, or the blender on the counter. ↗


— Bauvard


#energy-drinks #exercise #funny #humor #jogging

Yeah 220, 221 whatever it takes!" Michael Keaton character in "Mr. Mom ↗


— Mark Buff


#funny-humor #humor #humorous #funny

Thanks, Marisa. You're the best sister a girl can ask for," Mia told her sincerely. "I know--and very modest too. ↗


— Anna Zaires


#funny






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