#funny

But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know. ↗

— Charlie Sheen

#been #focus #forty #forty years #funny

I really love 'Soapdish.' I wish 'Soapdish' had more of a moment because I felt that that is a really strong, funny movie. Kevin Kline is hilarious in that movie. ↗

— Elisabeth Shue

#felt #funny #funny movie #had #hilarious

I'm for whatever gets you through the night. ↗

— Frank Sinatra

#gets #i #night #through #whatever

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#cent #deserve #funny #funny stuff #jokes

The history of the relationship between comedy and swimming is short indeed. Of course it is always funny when someone falls into water, but that's about it. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#always #between #comedy #course #falls

If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth. ↗

— Logan P. Smith

#always #liar #tell #thought #truth

The word 'no' is important for maintaining one's chastity, but 'porno' is indispensable. I always keep a dirty magazine tucked in my pants to ward off sexual pressure. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny #humor #porno #sex #virginity

It is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic principle of physics, that action and reaction are equal and opposite, that when you persecute people you always rouse them to be strong and stronger. ↗

— Gertrude Stein

#always #basic #basic principle #be strong #cannot

It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son. ↗

— Gertrude Stein

#being #does #doing #drunk #father

Music and comedy are so linked. The rhythm of comedy is con­nected to the rhythm of music. They’re both about creating tension and knowing when to let it go. I’m always surprised when somebody funny is not musical. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#humor #music #funny