#funny

If you have an impulse, not if you're going to ruin someone elses' scene, if you have an impulse of a funny little add-on or taking something in a weird direction, try it. ↗

— Rachel Dratch

#funny #going #impulse #little #ruin

Promise me, Amelie, that you’ll crucify me with silver before you allow me to fall in love.” “I hardly think there’s any chance of that,” Amelie said. "I doubt you have the capacity. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#eve-rosser #funny #ghost-town #humor #michael-glass

The list of women he’s slept with is longer than his penis. The list is three inches long.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #naughty #penis #sex #slut

(...) Since I was a kid." "Which you refer to as 'back when you were happy.'" "Right. ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#sadness #suicide #funny

No need, no, need. Life is already too short to find it. ↗

— Jessica Day George

#romance #funny

My new employer made me get a drug test, so I ripped off my shirt, flexed my muscles, and said, “You suspect me of taking steroids, don’t you? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #steroids #funny

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. ↗

— Benjamin Franklin

#constant #god #happy #loves #proof

I always approach comedy roles pretending they aren't funny. ↗

— Brendan Fraser

#approach #comedy #funny #i #i always

I don't think my judgment is that good. I don't know what is funny. ↗

— Jerry Stiller

#good #i #judgment #know #think

I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me. ↗

— Stephen Fry

#age #bladder #i #me #need