#funny

If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out. ↗

— Lawrence Ferlinghetti

#cynical #funny #humour #funny

Married?" she practically screeched, not sounding all that pleased, which left him feeling a little offended. "We're not getting married." He snorted at that. "I may have let you have your naughty little way with me for the past couple of months, but that doesn't mean I'm going to allow you to keep treating me like some dirty little boy toy. If you want to live with me then I expect you to put a ring on my finger," he said, holding up his left hand and wiggling his ring finger to punctuate his words. ↗

— R.L. Mathewson

#proposal #funny

You're very welcome," she said, giving my hair a hard tug. "You should be used to being gawked at by now." "And yet I'm not." "Well, if it gets too bad, give me a signal, and I'll get up on the banquet table, toss my skirt over my head, and do a little dance. That way no one will be looking at you. ↗

— Leigh Bardugo

#funny

I ate a pound cake today, but I gained two. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#pound-cake #weight-gain #funny

Life's pretty funny when you're objectively on the outside looking at it. ↗

— Philip Seymour Hoffman

#life #looking #objectively #outside #pretty

People used to be funny about approaching me, but now they seem to think I'm as sane as anyone who's done what I've done in movies can be. ↗

— Philip Seymour Hoffman

#anyone #approaching #done #funny #i

I think I would say 'The King's Speech' is surprisingly funny, in fact the audiences in London, Toronto, LA, New York commented there's more laughter in this film than in most comedies, while it is also a moving tear-jerker with an uplifting ending. ↗

— Tom Hooper

#audiences #comedies #commented #ending #fact

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money. ↗

— Bob Hope

#go #i #i love #love #money

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. ↗

— Bob Hope

#cagney #guy #james #lets #live

It's to paint directly on the canvas without any funny business, as it were, and I use almost pure turpentine to start with, adding oil as I go along until the medium becomes pure oil. I use as little oil as I can possibly help, and that's my method. ↗

— Edward Hopper

#almost #along #any #becomes #business