#funny

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#hollywood #marriage #milk #outlasts #success

We men are fascinated by the things we don't really understand. It gives us something to think and talk about: like females, they drive us nuts. ↗

— Criss Jami

#attraction #conversation #curiosity #fascination #females

I’d rather have nobody to say anything to, than have nothing to say to anybody. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #odd #strange

When I’m 42, I’ll have 21 years of experience being 21. I’ll be doubly prepared to handle myself in a bar, most likely by avoiding them altogether. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #odd #strange

The brilliant escape, the funny line to cap it, despite the lack of timing. And the girl was still dead. The last act had not materialised. The world, and himself, remained so far from what they should be: so imperfect. ↗

— Paul Cornell

#funny

Oh! That was poetry!" said Pippin. "Do you really mean to start before the break of day? ↗

— J.R.R. Tolkien

#funny #humour #lotr #pippin #poetry

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. ↗

— Lily Tomlin

#always #been #i #i always #more

I didn't know where this stuff was coming from - all of a sudden I was a little magickal sprite, bonding with my stone, feeling my earth roots, la la la... All I can is describe the way it felt. And that was how it felt. So sue me. Was I swaying? I felt like I might be swaying. ↗

— Cate Tiernan

#funny

I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny. ↗

— Mark Russell

#both #both sides #funny #i #i do

If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what's funny in the joke. ↗

— Richard Russo

#funny #joke #kill #laboriously #too