#funny

-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere. ↗

#funny-and-random #humor #humorous #satire #wit

Pleased to meet you." Sage said, offering his hand. "The pleasure is all mine," Rayna Purred. "Unless ofcourse, it's all Clea's which is even better." Sage smiled and might have even blushed a bit, which was highly entertaining. ↗

— Hilary Duff

#funny #rayna #sage #sweet #funny

Sore loser? You bet your fuckin' ass! What on earth is wrong with being a sore loser? It shows you cared about whatever the contest was in the first place. Fuck losing graciously-that's for chumps. And losers, by the way. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor #sore-loser #funny

I once made love to a taco shell stuffed with rancid meat and watery tomato bits. It was the best sex I’ve ever served to an unsuspecting customer.   ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #customer #dining #food #funny

Sophie, honey, stop looking at me like that,” Garrett said gruffly. “You’ll have me convinced I’m going to die.” “You’re not? ↗

— Maya Banks

#humour #romance #romantic-suspense #funny

I can do comedy, so people want me to do that, but the other side of comedy is depression. Deep, deep depression is the flip side of comedy. Casting agents don't realize it but in order to be funny you have to have that other side. ↗

— Parker Posey

#casting #comedy #deep #depression #flip

Hoping to get a head start on the next day, I eat breakfast the night before. That way I can sleep in until two in the afternoon.   ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #laziness #lazy #life #sleep

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name. ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#account #bank #bank account #because #i

Never dance in a puddle when there's a hole in your shoe (it's always best to take your shoes off first). ↗

— John D. Rhodes

#dance #funny #humor #rain #shoes

Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions. ↗