#funny

Comedy is ridiculously hard. And if the rhythm is not right, if the music or the line is not right, it's not funny. ↗

— Julianne Moore

#funny #hard #line #music #rhythm

Love speaks to the heart like a mime to a mute. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #age

I am the archaeologist of love. I’m digging for the bones of a loved one I shot and buried decades ago. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #age

The Shrink always warned me that carriers stay wracked with lifelong guilt. It's not an uplifting thing having turned lovers into monsters. We feel bad that we haven't turned into monsters ourselves--survivor's guilt, that's called. And we feel a bit stupid that we didn't notice our own symptoms earlier. I mean, I'd been sort of wondering why the Atkins diet was giving me night vision. But that hadn't seemed like something to worry about... ↗

— Scott Westerfeld

#funny #guilt #humor #ombies #parasites

She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. How could I confuse "I love you" with "May I take your order? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cashier #confusion #daydreaming #delusional #fantasy

They sent me the script and I thought that there was something very appealing and funny about it. Also, I was familiar with Mike Myers' work in Saturday Night Live, but I did not know the extent to which he would make this creation. ↗

— Michael York

#also #appealing #creation #did #extent

I'd love to date somebody cool, fun, funny. ↗

— Rihanna

#date #fun #funny #i #love

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me. ↗

— Elayne Boosler

#been #divorced #i #married #me

Pain produces progress. So if you truly love me, you will try to hurt me as much as you can. If you really want me to grow as a person, you will water me with betrayal, abuse, neglect, derision, thievery, and possibly even torture. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #pain #torture #age

If you're trapped in the dream of the Other, you're fucked. ↗

— Gilles Deleuze

#fucked-up #funny #humor #other #philosophy