#humor

Delia was an overbearing cake with condescending frosting, and frankly, I was on a diet. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#diet #frosting #humor #metaphor #diet

A sharp bolt of hunger hit Luther hard. His knees almost buckled, his poker face almost grimaced. For two weeks now his sense of smell had been much keener, no doubt a side effect of a strict diet. Maybe he got a whiff of Mabel's finest, he wasn't sure, but a craving came over him. Suddenly, he had to have something to eat. Suddenly, he wanted to snatch the bag from Kendall, rip open a package, and start gnawing on a fruitcake. ↗

— John Grisham

#fruitcake #humor #humour #skipping-christmas #diet

Wearing that personal trainer nametag doesn't make you right #AHOLE ↗

— Andy Ostrom

#exercise #funny #humor #life #workout

We... Charlotta the Fourth and I... live in defiance of every known law of diet." ~ Miss Lavendar, chap 27 ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#humor #l-m-montgomery #diet

I'd like to lose enough weight so that my bones creaked louder than the floor ↗

— Stanley Victor Paskavich

#funny-quotes #humor #weight-loss #diet

Who made you Queen of Literacy? Go sit in your car! ↗

— Jackson Pearce

#humor #literacy #reading #humor

Odd that I couldn’t catch any of your dream,” Bones went on. “Normally your dreams are like background music to me. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#humor #dreams

Good thing about hanging out with a pregnant woman: designated driver by default. ↗

— Amelia C. Gormley

#design

I’m tempted to kill the general first, then his staff officers. Sometimes you just want to eat pudding early. All the same, I make myself wait. ↗

— David Gunn

#death

Eve, did you marry me for my money?" "You bet your ass. And you'd better hold on to it, or I'm history" "It's very sweet of you to say so. ↗

— J.D. Robb

#humor #roarke #death