#humor

YOU FEAR TO DIE? "It's not that I don't want... I mean, I've always...it's just that life is a habit that's hard to break... ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#fear #habit #humor #life #death

In life, more than in anything else, it isn’t easy to end up alive. ↗

— Roman Payne

#death #dying #funny #humor #humour

Embrace your inner lunatic. Fun times guaranteed. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humor #humorous #insanity #lunatics #death

I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use. Pleasant because one is in the best possible company and safe because sleep is the consummate protection against the unseemliness that is the invariable consequence of being awake. What you don't know won't hurt you. Sleep is death without the responsibility. ↗

— Fran Lebowitz

#sleep #death

But he said to his wife, sitting next to him on the couch in the TV room, that rarely had he seen a funeral at which it seemed like almost nobody in attendance had any idea why they were there. His wife, who had heard things like this from him before, reminded him of a ceremony he had presided over only a few months ago about which he had had the same reaction. 'Oh right,' the minister said. 'Yes. That one was much worse.' He leaned down to the coffee table and picked up the remote. ↗

— Mark Wallace

#death #humor #death

Whatever you are physically,” he said, “male or female, strong or weak, ill or healthy—all those things matter less than what your heart contains. If you have the soul of a warrior, you are a warrior. Whatever the color, the shape, the design of the shade that conceals it, the flame inside the lamp remains the same. You are that flame. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#will-herondale #design

A "Normal" person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee. You know, "Each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray. ↗

— Alan Sherman

#humor #design

I’m surprised there isn’t a jet airplane designed in the shape of a brick. Some people (aeronautical engineers) might say that’s because bricks aren’t aerodynamic. Yeah, right. I’d like to see someone make that claim as they watch a brick flying towards their face at a high velocity. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

O sangramento da lua só me deixa abalada durante três dias num mês. Uma pila torna um homem potencialmente estúpido a qualquer hora do dia. ↗

— Anne Bishop

#dreams

Pregnancy seems designed to prepare you for life as a mother. You start making sacrifices nine months before the child is born, so by the time they put in an appearance you are used to giving things up for them. ↗

— Brett Kiellerop

#pregnancy #design