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Read through the most famous quotes by topic #humor
I would never believe it of you, my boy, regardless of the schemers your mother and sister turned out to be. You may not be the most clever boy, nor the most prudent, nor the most gentlemanlike, nor..." Edward cleared his throat. "Right! But you have a good heart, and I have every hope that with the proper education and mentoring you will be credit to the family yet. ↗
Why are you crying?' 'How can I possibly look good to you? I'm pregnant! I'm really, really pregnant!' 'Of course you are. Why are you crying?' 'Because I'm going to Hawai'i!' 'Yes, you're going to Hawai'i. Come on now, pull yourself together.' I kept crying. Darren looked frantic. He stepped back and fumbled for his roguish smirk. 'So, is this a hormone thing?' 'No, it's not a hormone thing! I'm old, Darren! I'm old and pregnant, and I'm going to Hawai'i. Can you understand how that makes me feel?' He could not. How could I possibly expect my husband to understand all the bizarre things that happen to a woman in spirit and flesh when a friendly alien takes over her body? He still couldn't figure out why Laurie and I wanted to fly all the way to Hawai'i just to spend a week lounging around the pool, comparing underarm flab, when we could stay home and have the same conversation over the phone for a lot less money. ↗
New Rule: Gay marriage won't lead to dog marriage. It is not a slippery slope to rampant inter-species coupling. When women got the right to vote, it didn't lead to hamsters voting. No court has extended the equal protection clause to salmon. And for the record, all marriages are “same sex” marriages. You get married, and every night, it's the same sex. ↗
The proudest confessions are always barely legal. The fondest memories are always underage. The most innocent experiences are always infantile. ↗
