#humour

Women treat us [men] like humanity treats gods – they worship us and keep bothering us to do something. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humour #mythology #men

Writing is a lot like sex: at first you do it because you enjoy it. Then you find yourself doing it with others. But if you're any good at all, you end up doing it for less money than it's worth. ↗

— Michael Goulding

#inspirational

I like my tea like I like my men,” I say. With the last name “Grey.” But I realize that’s too forward, so I add, “Black.” He raises an eyebrow. “I mean, not that I exclusively like black men,” I say, trying to recover. “I like other kinds of tea. And men.” “Have you ever tasted...white tea, Anna? ↗

— Andrew Shaffer

#men

If someone had told me years ago that sharing a sense of humour was so vital to partnerships, I could have avoided a lot of sex! ↗

— Kate Beckinsale

#avoided #could #had #humour #i

Mixing humour and harsh reality is a very human behaviour, it's the way people stay sane in their daily lives. ↗

— Jorge Garcia

#daily #daily lives #harsh #harsh reality #human

Oh my gods. The alpha of Clan Cat just got smacked with a rolled-up newspaper. "Mom! ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#dreams

I need a weapon,” Valkyrie muttered. “You’re an Elemental with a Necromancer ring, trained in a variety of martial arts by some of the best fighters in the world,” Skulduggery pointed out. “I’m fairly certain that makes you a weapon.” “I mean a weapon you hold. You have a gun, Tanith has a sword... I want a stick.” “I’ll buy you a stick for Christmas. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humour #skulduggery #stick #weapon #art

It is a curiously moving experience, to hear 350 sailors uttering the words "Oh shit!" in eleven different languages. ↗

— John Biggins

#humour #experience

The worst mistake a writer can make is to assume everyone has an imagination. ↗

— Andrew McEwan

#fast-food #humour #irony #laziness #misapprehension

Silas consumed only one food, and it was not bananas. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#blood #book #fantasy #food #funny