#joke

All he cares about is going out there with his Jack Daniels bottle. Nothing has changed. That's kind of sad. If David was doing better than he used to be, then that would be different. But it was a joke and he made it that way. ↗

— Sammy Hagar

#be different #better #bottle #cares #changed

On the set I make jokes I can't get too involved, or it turns into sentimental soup. I try to keep it light. ↗

— Michael Haneke

#i #into #involved #jokes #keep

But television, when I was doing it, was all about scoring. You had to make these jokes bang, do whatever you could to make the material really pop. And if it didn't, there was something wrong with the material, or with you. ↗

— Tom Hanks

#bang #could #doing #had #i

I'd come from the bottom of the barrel. Just Owen Hart getting out of the shadow of Bret Hart's little brother. Everyone figured, this is a joke, Owen's going to get squashed. ↗

— Owen Hart

#bottom #bret #brother #come #everyone

I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes. I want my life to mean something. ↗

— Steve Harvey

#jokes #life #mean #my life #old

Some one is generally sure to be the sufferer by a joke. ↗

— William Hazlitt

#joke #some #sufferer #sure

I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#cord #go #hear #hold #i

I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#fix #gonna #i #joke #last

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. ↗

— Oliver Herford

#haven #irish #joke #seen #yet

I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens, but also that's alive: they respond, they're getting the jokes, they're with me. And that' s been happening. ↗

— Dan Hicks

#also #audience #been #getting #good