#jokes

I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour dates and keep imagining standing in front of all these people. Then every day I write 15 jokes minimum. ↗

— Tim Vine

#coffee #dates #day #deadline #every

Character is character and voice is voice, which translates nicely from writing novels to writing TV. But the process is different. You have a writer's room, people pitch you jokes and you collaborate. ↗

— Jennifer Weiner

#collaborate #different #jokes #nicely #novels

We combine our three packs of pasta for dinner – pesto. We tip the dried stuff into a pan, add water and simmer. We try it, looking at each other with disbelief as it hits the tastebuds. ‘It’s pesto, Jim, but not as we know it,’ I say. ‘Fascinating,’ says Lou, unsmiling humouring my Star Trek reference, while wincing at the foul food. (And what made me say that? Is there such a thing as a dad-joke vacuum that needs to be filled, even in the wild?) ↗

— Fiona Wood

#camping-food #dad-joke #dad-jokes #fiona-wood #food

Writing for young children I find I often use particular jokes with words and exaggerated, funny events, but some of these haunt the more complex stories for older children too. ↗

— Margaret Mahy

#complex #events #exaggerated #find #funny

I only need to write about 3,000 one-liners a day to produce a million jokes a year. Simple. I’ll just get started after I take a nap. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#jokes #nap #one-liner #work-ethic #change

My dog was with me all the time. I talked to my dog. She was my best buddy. I shared all my secrets with her, but I don't think I every really tried jokes out with the dog. ↗

— Cathy Guisewite

#buddy #dog #every #her #i

Don't make jokes about food. ↗

— David Lean

#food #jokes #make

I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym. ↗

— Don Rickles

#gym #i #jokes #my own #own

I told jokes badly. ↗

— Don Rickles

#i #jokes #told

Oberon "one day Atticus was amazed to discover that when Jupiter said "As you wish," what he really meant was "I love you. ↗