#sleeping

I had a dream about you. We were on a bench next to the ocean eating melted chocolate out the belly of a beached whale. I said, “Isn’t this romantic?” and you either silently burped or the stench of decomposition wafted up to my nose, but either way I got the sense that either of those scents couldn’t have been a more appropriate reply. 
 ↗

— Dora J. Arod

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

People always expect you to be jumping out of a Rolls Royce and being in the papers for drunk and disorderly or sleeping around. ↗

— Davy Jones

#around #being #disorderly #drunk #expect

I'm not lazy. I'm just really gifted, only instead of being good at music or math I'm good at sleeping late. ↗

— Elizabeth Jane Howard

#sleeping-in #humor

But I'm really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat cake. ↗

— Derek Landy

#crossword-puzzles #humor #humorous #laziness #retirement

I had a dream about you. You were crying, and I couldn’t tell if it was because you were sad or because you’d been laughing too hard. So I decided to find out by telling you that I’d just heard from the cops, and your mother had been murdered. Before I got to the punch line you started sobbing in a different manner, so I realized you’d been laughing earlier. By that time the mood had changed, and I decided it best not to deliver the punch line after all. So I sat down next to you and put my arm around you and tried to console you for your perceived loss. 
 ↗

— Dora J. Arod

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

It's amazing to me that people have any interest in such a low-level sex scandal. If I were sleeping with a congressman, maybe, but I'm a nobody and the people I'm writing about are nobodies. ↗

— Jessica Cutler

#amazing #any #congressman #i #interest

To be always intending to make a new and better life but never to find time to set about it is as to put off eating and drinking and sleeping from one day to the next until you're dead. ↗

— Og Mandino

#always #better #better life #day #dead

Let sleeping dogs lie. ↗

— Robert Walpole

#lie #sleeping

When I was 17, I went to India for six weeks and had what, at the time, was a very challenging trip. You walk down the street and you see lepers and beggars, and there were several of us, a group of Americans. I remember we were just trying to park one night somewhere and people were just sleeping in the parking lot. ↗

— Chris Hughes

#challenging #down #group #had #i

I am fed up with men who use sex like a sleeping pill. ↗

— Toni Braxton

#fed #fed up #i #i am #like