#absurd

If love were a dolphin with wings and a unicorn’s horn, being ridden by a blind leprechaun dressed like Rasputin, would you believe in second chances for love at first sight? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dolphin #funny #humor #leprechaun #love

Every night I cuddle with a blob of unbaked clay I fashioned in the shape of a woman. But that’s what being in love is all about.   ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#blob #clay #cuddle #love #night

You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn’t fit inside. But just because it won’t fit, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t empty the trash.   ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#love #nonsense #ridiculous #trash #love

THE POLITICIAN If it wasn't for graft, you'd get a very low type of people in politics. Men without ambition. Jellyfish! CATHERINE Especially since you can't rob the people anyway. THE POLITICIAN Sure...How was that? CATHERINE What you rob, you spend. And what you spend goes back to the people. So where's the robbery? I read that in one of my father's books. THE POLITICIAN That book should be in every home! ↗

— Preston Sturges

#writing #men

They say that Caliph Omar, when consulted about what had to be done with the library of Alexandria, answered as follows: 'If the books of this library contain matters opposed to the Koran, they are bad and must be burned. If they contain only the doctrine of the Koran, burn them anyway, for they are superfluous.' Our learned men have cited this reasoning as the height of absurdity. However, suppose Gregory the Great was there instead of Omar and the Gospel instead of the Koran. The library would still have been burned, and that might well have been the finest moment in the life of this illustrious pontiff. ↗

— Jean-Jacques Rousseau

#alexandria #caliph #intolerance #library #men

The phrase ‘popular science’ has in itself a touch of absurdity. That knowledge which is popular is not scientific. ↗

— Maria Mitchell

#knowledge #science #science

Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future. ↗

— Niels Bohr

#humour #truth #wisdom #wisdom

Sleeping in a tinfoil suit keeps me warmer and helps prepare me for my voyage to the moon. Would you care for some licorice?   ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #licorice #moon #non-sequitur #preparation

It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel. ↗