#absurd

What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy. But what gratification is there in that? He's a loser—that’s why he's number two. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#best #bizarre #competing #competition #competitor

I want to protect innocent people from sin by locking them in cages, where the evil can't get to them. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cages #evil #funny #illogical #innocence

I’ve often wondered why more science textbooks don’t tell teenagers that the only thing sharks like to eat more than fish, are dead prostitutes. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dead #fish #funny #humor #prostitutes

If you were to ask me the best time of day to fall in love, I'd say, "Now." But you'd also have to remember to factor in the fact that my watch is eleven minutes fast. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#ask #fact #factor #fall-in-love #funny

It is human nature to think wisely and act in an absurd fashion. ↗

— Anatole France

#act #fashion #human #human nature #nature

Reason is a supple nymph, and slippery as a fish by nature. She had as leave give her kiss to an absurdity any day, as to syllogistic truth. The absurdity may turn out truer. ↗

— David Herbert Lawrence

#any #day #fish #give #had

Our system is the height of absurdity, since we treat the culprit both as a child, so as to have the right to punish him, and as an adult, in order to deny him consolation. ↗

— Claude Levi-Strauss

#adult #both #child #consolation #culprit

The concept of absurdity is something I'm attracted to. ↗

— David Lynch

#attracted #concept #i #something

I'm often called an old-fashioned modernist. But the modernists had the absurd idea that architecture could heal the world. That's impossible. And today nobody expects architects to have these grand visions any more. ↗

— Thom Mayne

#any #architects #architecture #called #could

If you’re going to hold a grudge, at least put on an oven mitt before you pick it up.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #grudge #hold-a-grudge #humor