#humor

Rhett: If you've made up your mind to impale someone, do it with conviction. ↗

— Rowena Cherry

#fantasy #futuristic #humor #humour #rhett

What does ‘hmm’ have to do with anything? Could you ever use more than five words? All this grunting and minced words make you come across—primal.” His smile tipped higher. “Primal.” “You’re impossible.” “Me Jev, you Nora. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#nora-grey #patch-cipriano #humor

The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary requirements of vegetarians, on the first Tuesday of the month a chicken is officially a vegetable. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#humor #vegetarian #food

I’m not going to lecture you on the error of your ways. Not until you fetch me a podium and a microphone. I’ll also need a screen, a projector, and a laser pointer. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#errors #funny #humor #laser #lecture

Another relative?" Valek asked. A broad smile stretched Moon Man's lips. "Yes. I am her mother's uncle's wife's third cousin." --Valek and Moon Man ↗

— Maria V. Snyder

#valek #humor

The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse ↗

— Bill Watterson

#humor

Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character. ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor #humor

(When asked: But you have a very open relationship with your fans.) Yes. We have an open relationship. Obviously they can see other authors if they want, and I can see other readers. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor #interview #relationship #humor

I'm attracted to a lot of hot guys. If Chris Hemsworth were here, I'd light him up like a firecracker with how fast I'd jump on him. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#leila #night-prince #once-burned #vlad #humor

I box in yellow Gox box socks. ↗

— Dr. Seuss

#rhyme #humor