#humor

Dekker kicked out, connecting with my left shin, and I dropped him for a second. That was all the time he needed to grab a weapon. Without thinking I pulled out a similar item for the box. And that was how we ended up fighting a duel with plastic lightsabers. We must have looked strange - two middle aged men slashing away at each other with toy swords complete with sound effects. ↗

— Leslie Langtry

#age

If sex were shoes, I'd wear you out. But I wouldn't wear you out in public. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny-quotes #humor #humor-quotes #sex #sexual-stamina

Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#doctor #funny #funny-quotes #humor #humor-quotes

I have a shocking memory - I remember everything. ↗

— Melinda Chapman

#life-lessons #memory #humor

Black Humor (Umor): a sensation --of the theatrical (and joyless) pointlessness of everything. ↗

— Jacques Vache

#life #humor

I may not always walk the straight and narrow, but I cross it as often as I can. ↗

— J. Golden Kimball

#religion #humor

I want to move to a ghost town and try to sell the population bodies to dwell in. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#ghost-town #humor #population #funny

Advertisers also know that humor can help bond us to their product. ↗

— Allen Klein

#bond #help #humor #know #product

A brick could be used to make the world safer for our children. Well, not our children, as I don't actually have any kids—but certainly your children. Skeptical? A brick could better protect your children than all the Federal government agencies combined.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

But when they offered this little situation for me to do this voice in this special segment, I found it so incredibly humorous that I said yes, and I enjoyed it. It was fun. ↗

— Werner Klemperer

#found #fun #humorous #i #incredibly