#humor

To me, the perfect date consists of dinner, dancing, and sex with a girl who has no stomach or legs, but does have an overactive sex drive. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dinner #funny #humor #perfect-date #sex

Jesca returned the smile. 'You are a brave one--or perhaps foolhardy.' 'Difficult to tell,' Cope said cheerily. ↗

— Steve Rzasa

#humor #courage

No," said Luis, "You can't date the Lord of the Night Court." "Well, I'm not, he dumped me." "You can't get dumped by the lord of the night court." "Oh, yes, you can. You so completely can. ↗

— Holly Black

#dating

It's easy to remember, because dating rhymes with mating, and they're almost the same [...] So your mom thinks we're ma-- Uh, dating? ↗

— Anna Banks

#humorous #ya #young-adult #dating

I don't understand how people can stand next to you one year,and next year, they cannot. They're going crazy, screaming. They can't take it that you're there. But last year I was in the same club,walking around,lonely like a motherfucker. Couldn't get a date or a dance. I was too skinny, too something, and now, "He's just adorable. He's just, oh! ↗

— Tupac Shakur

#sex #dating

Never give in to peer pressure, especially if the peer is not attractive. ↗

— Eugene Mirman

#humor #humor

You don't have to make something that people call art. Living is an artistic activity, there is an art to getting through the day. ↗

— Viggo Mortensen

#cool #fun #humor #inspirational #wisdom

Flowers are the free throw of love. You're looking for the clutch three-pointer from downtown. ↗

— Daniel Holloway & Dorothy Robinson

#humor #love #sports #dating

It's only one date. I can do it. And you'll probably lose interest afterward." "No other woman's ever needed to give herself a pep talk to spend time with me." "That you know of. ↗

— Ann Bruce

#dating

Sometimes it feels like I'm thinking against the wind. ↗

— Mortimer J. Adler

#humor