#jokes

I only need to write about 3,000 one-liners a day to produce a million jokes a year. Simple. I’ll just get started after I take a nap. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#jokes #nap #one-liner #work-ethic #change

My dog was with me all the time. I talked to my dog. She was my best buddy. I shared all my secrets with her, but I don't think I every really tried jokes out with the dog. ↗

— Cathy Guisewite

#buddy #dog #every #her #i

When my mother died, I had to go on air that night and do jokes. ↗

— Graham Kennedy

#died #go #had #i #jokes

Soon I learned that the worse the puns and jokes, the funnier they could be, if you knew how to deliver them. ↗

— John Lasseter

#deliver #funnier #how #i #jokes

Don't make jokes about food. ↗

— David Lean

#food #jokes #make

If you keep making jokes like that, somebody is going to shoot you, father. ↗

— Mary Todd Lincoln

#going #jokes #keep #like #making

When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places. ↗

— Seth MacFarlane

#going #hours #job #jokes #mind

Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy. ↗

— Joel McHale

#end #evidenced #fact #glam #grunge

It was a somber place, haunted by old jokes and lost laughter. Life, as I discovered, holds no more wretched occupation than trying to make the English laugh. ↗

— Malcolm Muggeridge

#english #haunted #holds #i #jokes

I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym. ↗

— Don Rickles

#gym #i #jokes #my own #own