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Confessions

Oops Confessions

Read the best #oops confession stories


My girlfriend's father thinks I am going to church every Sunday. That was a necessary lie I had to tell for him to trust and like me. He is a very religious man and I thought the best thing to do is tell him I am too.But I am not. Not at all. My girlfriend doesn't know either! I am sure she wouldn't approve lying to her father about something like that. So I tell her as well that I am at church at Sundays. We live 50 miles away from each other so that's not a problem.In reality, I'll lie in bed, just turn off my phone and watch some stupid videos online.I really enjoy this time because I do not have to think about anything or anyone. I thought about telling them that I am going to the evening mass on Thursdays as wel just to have a few hours for myself. Maybe masturbate, maybe watch a movie, maybe take a nice bath. That's my own holy time. I love my girlfriend but I like my alone time as well. 


#holy   #church   #lie   #mass   #confession   #fatherinlaw   #girlfriend   #oops  


I really had to control myself tonight. I have a HUGE thing for female basketball players and a girl's feet and just happened to cover a women's college basketball game here in town tonight. One of the players came out of the locker room with her uniform on but barefoot and I thought I was going to faint right then and there. I just wish SO MUCH that some sweet female hoops player would rub her pretty wet sweaty feet all over my face and make my face, neck and chest smell like her pretty feet and then I would want her to rock me off until I just explode all over her pretty feet. GOD HELP ME!!!


#womenshoops   #feet  


I caused a car crash the other day. I do not know how it happened exactly, but I was texting and driving (yes, I know.. blabla bad thing)... and I wasn't looking on the road only for a few short seconds and the next thing I know is that my phone screen is broken and it does not work anymore and that my head hurts.
Apparently I drove straight into the oncoming traffic. My car is fine, only a few small scratches, but the other car is almost a complete write off. Thank god it was not mine.
But now my phone is broken and I cannot afford a new one. FML


#fml   #car   #crash   #accident   #texting   #oops  


Just had dinner with my fiancé. Lovely meal, nice wine etc. went to the bathroom afterwards, wasn’t concentrating, looked down to see I’d peed all over the floor, missing the urinal entirely! I’m really sorry. Probably won’t go back there for a while!


#look   #where   #you  


I invited this cute girl to my apartment yesterday. It was our third official date and I wanted to impress her by cooking for her. So, we end up on my balcony, everything is going smoothly, we are both having a great time. We are talking, drinking some wine, PURR-FECT!
I noticed that some nice background music would be nice, too, so I got my laptop, opened it and that's when it started...
I forgot that I was watching some ... adult movies ... the night before and after I was "done" I simply shut it, but never closed the tab.
Well, the movie started again the second the computer powered up.
God damn... she took it lightly and laughed about it. But I am still embarrassed...


#porn   #girl   #date   #embarrassing   #laptop   #movie   #oops  


One time me and my friends were at the mall and I spit my gum in this old mans hair. So I just took off running and laughing... I felt terrible!


#old   #man   #whoops   #sorry   #gum  


I'd like to confess something BIG.
I share a flat with my best friend (both M/22). He is in a relationship with the horrendous and absolutely terrifying bitch walking the earth. No one of our friends understands why he is still with her. She treats him terribly, always making condescending remarks, she even slapped him once!
We all tried talking to him reasonably to see that he could do so much better, but to no vain. So, we kind of agreed that he would eventually get it himself.
Oh well... everything came a bit differently than we had thought.

I was out drinking with some friends in a pub (best mate not with us as he had to attend to her mayesty's call aka 'the bitch') and I got quite drunk and actually managed to hook up with this beautiful girl.
We were both intoxicated but somehow managed to end up back at my place. We had sex twice and once more in the morning and then she left, also leaving me her number (I am yet to call her). After my sex-induced haze (still in bed at this point) I noticed that I was actually not in MY bed. But in my flatmate's. I had to have been rather pissed for not noticing.
Oh well. I did not think much of it, simply went to my room and got some more sleep.

Sometime while I was sleeping my flatmate got home and half an hour later his devilspawn followed.
I woke up to shouting and screaming.
To make a long story short: I left my used condoms in my mate's room and his "girlfriend" found it and thought he was cheating on her in the half hour it took her to get to his place. She wouldn't listen to his reasoning that he could not have had sex with another girl in that short period of time. And especially not three times (we had sex three times remember).
She screamed some more, threw some pillows and stuff around, but finally left exclaiming that she was done with him and not to contact her ever again. Before she left she told (or rather shouted) that she never loved him and cheated on him quite often in the last year.

He was gobsmacked at first and couldn't fathom what just happened. After the initial shock he deduced that those must have been me condoms. I actually thought he would be mad. But he thanked me. Really, he THANKED ME.

Yeah mate, you dodged a bullet there.
You're welcome.


#ex   #girlfriend   #hookup   #condoms   #sex   #woops   #misunderstanding   #cheating   #flatmate  



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