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Mitch Hedberg

Read through the most famous quotes from Mitch Hedberg




I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.


— Mitch Hedberg


#days #haven #i #long #slept

I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.


— Mitch Hedberg


#any #car #cars #coming #exactly

I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.


— Mitch Hedberg


#again #beans #because #fried #fry

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.


— Mitch Hedberg


#cause #down #i #know #necklace

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!


— Mitch Hedberg


#children #every #kid #read

Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.


— Mitch Hedberg


#cheese #macaroni

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.


— Mitch Hedberg


#i #lift #literal #me #once

Dogs are forever in the push up postion.


— Mitch Hedberg


#forever #push #up

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.


— Mitch Hedberg


#because #boiling #drank #i #some

I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.


— Mitch Hedberg


#candy #front #fun #get #glass






About Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Quotes




Did you know about Mitch Hedberg?

" He also toyed with audiences that failed to respond in the way he had intended them to occasionally quipping "That joke's better than you acted. Hedberg was interviewed by Jonathan Davis in the December 2001 issue of Penthouse. His act usually consisted equally of compact one- or two-liners (like Steven Wright's) and longer routines often with each line as a punchline.

Hedberg's comedy and onstage persona gained him a cult following with audience members sometimes shouting out the punchlines to his jokes before he could finish them. His comedy typically featured short sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs. Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg (February 24 1968 – March 29 2005) was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional comedic delivery.

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