#funny

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#hollywood #marriage #milk #outlasts #success

We men are fascinated by the things we don't really understand. It gives us something to think and talk about: like females, they drive us nuts. ↗

— Criss Jami

#attraction #conversation #curiosity #fascination #females

I’d rather have nobody to say anything to, than have nothing to say to anybody. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #odd #strange

Life would be a great deal easier if dead things had the decency to remain dead. ↗

— Doug MacLeod

#humour #random #sinister #funny

I've never set out to write a funny movie or be a funny comedian as a woman. I am a woman. I don't really have a choice in the matter. My goal is just to be funny. ↗

— Maya Rudolph

#choice #comedian #funny #funny movie #goal

He needed to gather her up, hold on to her, anything to help her stop trembling. Something was going to shake loose if she didn’t. ↗

— Tara Janzen

#humour #romance #romantic-suspense #funny

People say funny things all the time during really serious moments in life. ↗

— Mark Ruffalo

#funny #funny things #life #moments #people

Moderation: a median with no means, praised by those with no misfortunes, practiced by those with no merits. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #moderation #funny

When I’m 42, I’ll have 21 years of experience being 21. I’ll be doubly prepared to handle myself in a bar, most likely by avoiding them altogether. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #odd #strange

The brilliant escape, the funny line to cap it, despite the lack of timing. And the girl was still dead. The last act had not materialised. The world, and himself, remained so far from what they should be: so imperfect. ↗

— Paul Cornell

#funny