#funny

Everybody in!" I said. Which was when we discovered the final problem. Little Echos aren't designed to hold six, count them six, larger-than-average-sized children. And their wings. And a dog. "This is like a clown car," Total grumbled front my lap in the front seat. "Why does the dog get to sit in your lap?'' Gazzy asked plaintively, as we rattled and banged down the dark streets. "How about a kid?" "Oh. 'The dog.' Very nice," said Total. "Because you're not allowed to have people on your lap in the front seats," I explained. "It's not safe. If a cop saw us, we'd be stopped for sure. You want Total back there?" Everyone in the back screamed no at the same time. ↗

— James Patterson

#dog #funny #lol #talking-dog #design

They told me that nothing was a sin, just a poor life choice. Poor impulse control. That nothing is evil. Any concept of right versus wrong, according to them, is merely a cultural construct relative to one specific time and place. They said that if anything should force us to modify our personal behavior it should be our allegiance to a social contract, not some vague, externally imposed threat of flaming punishment. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#fun #funny #heaven #hell #humor

I need to be cheered up a lot. I think funny people are people who need to be cheered up. ↗

— Lynda Barry

#funny #funny people #i #i think #lot

It's a funny thing about me. I don't have any interest in food most of the time now, although when I was a kid I was always hungry. ↗

— Alan Ladd

#although #always #any #food #funny

I'm mourning with the rest of the world for the talented, gorgeous, funny, intelligent John Forsythe but my heart is broken for the loss of my dear, dear friend and neighbor. I will miss him terribly. ↗

— Cheryl Ladd

#dear #dear friend #friend #funny #gorgeous

The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he's still as funny as he's ever been, and he's still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I'll still be able to work. ↗

— Denis Leary

#angry #around #because #been #carlin

Until now, until I actually got into law class, I just never thought of it as being an interest for me, but it's really funny because now that I'm in law, I'm like 'Wow, I could be a lawyer. ↗

— Lisa Leslie

#because #being #class #could #funny

I think there have always been funny women, from Carol Burnett to Joan Rivers. When the audience sees a woman, they innately know she's worked twice as hard to get there, she's had to prove that she can be the leader, first, and then be funny on top of it. She has to emit a confidence that she's in control. ↗

— Wendy Liebman

#audience #been #burnett #carol #carol burnett

It's funny, my girlfriends think that because I am married to a fashion designer, I get all these great tips and hints about great fashion, but it's not like that at all. He never tells me what to wear. ↗

— Lori Loughlin

#am #because #designer #fashion #fashion designer

Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything! ↗

— Steve Martin

#boy #different #everything #french #those