P. J. O'Rourke

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#does #else #foreign #foreign policy #government

Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#children #considered #contest #divorce #ensue

Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren't present. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#flattery #gossip #objects #present #say

You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#giving #money #people #poverty #rid

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#eat #exception #humans #like #only

Soldiers are not policemen, and it's very unfair, even for those soldiers who have some police training, to burden them with police duties. It's not what they're trained for, or equipped for. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#duties #equipped #even #police #policemen

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#chief #convertible #devices #increase #mechanical

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#how #make #mystery #stop #washington

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#nothing #only #quiet #relative #tasteful

Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#about #any #bright #catastrophe #feeling