#humor

Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?" Harry interrupted again. "So he can sneak up on people," said Ron. "Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking... ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #sarcasm #death

It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #life #death

Why are they all staring?" demanded Albus as he and Rose craned around to look at the other students. "Don’t let it worry you," said Ron. "It’s me. I’m extremely famous. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#fame #harry-potter #humor #ron-weasley #death

For instance, this new idea that You-Know-Who can kill with a single glance from his eyes. That’s a basilisk, listeners. One simple test: Check whether the thing that’s glaring at you has got legs. If it has, it’s safe to look into its eyes, although if it really is You-Know-Who, that’s still likely to be the last thing you ever do. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#death

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. ↗

— Groucho Marx

#books #dogs #friends #humor #humor

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? ↗

— George Carlin

#humour #paradox #humor

I g-g-guess...I'm dead?" she heard her own voice call out, strangely high-pitched and thin. For a long time, she heard nothing else. And then: "Hi, Dead. I'm Dan. ↗

— Peter Lerangis

#cahill #dan #death #humor #the

I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer. ↗

— Woody Allen

#life #sex #humor

I find out a lot about myself by sleeping. Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dreams #funny #humor #life #sleeping

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ↗

— W.C. Fields

#sinister #equality