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Steven Wright

Read through the most famous quotes from Steven Wright




When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.


— Steven Wright


#humor #humor

When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.


— Steven Wright


#humor

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?


— Steven Wright


#humor

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?


— Steven Wright


#humor

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.


— Steven Wright


#humor #nonsense #humor

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.


— Steven Wright


#book #done #got #i #numbers

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.


— Steven Wright


#about #dictionary #everything #i #poem

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.


— Steven Wright


#i #unauthorized #writing

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.


— Steven Wright


#humor

Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.


— Steven Wright


#humor #humor






About Steven Wright

Steven Wright Quotes




Did you know about Steven Wright?

Steven Alexander Wright (born December 6 1955) is an American comedian actor and writer. Filmography
Desperately Seeking Susan (1985) as Larry Stillman D. What's disturbing is that with a few of these jokes I wish I had thought of them.

He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow deadpan delivery of ironic philosophical and sometimes nonsensical jokes paraprosdokians and one-liners with contrived situations.

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