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Steven Wright

Read through the most famous quotes from Steven Wright




Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.


— Steven Wright


#culture

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.


— Steven Wright


#humor

I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.


— Steven Wright


#recursion #humor

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.


— Steven Wright


#procrastination

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where’s the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.


— Steven Wright


#self-improvement #humor

Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes.


— Steven Wright


#humor

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.


— Steven Wright


#humor

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?


— Steven Wright


#absurd

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?


— Steven Wright


#scared #twice #death

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.


— Steven Wright


#afraid #heights #i #lot #me






About Steven Wright

Steven Wright Quotes




Did you know about Steven Wright?

Steven Alexander Wright (born December 6 1955) is an American comedian actor and writer. Filmography
Desperately Seeking Susan (1985) as Larry Stillman D. What's disturbing is that with a few of these jokes I wish I had thought of them.

He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow deadpan delivery of ironic philosophical and sometimes nonsensical jokes paraprosdokians and one-liners with contrived situations.

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