Rita Rudner

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior." ↗

— Rita Rudner

#attract #called #car #i #interior

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#call #came #charge #down #going

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with? ↗

— Rita Rudner

#children #first #guy #i #last

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#how #humanity #i #lose #people

My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#husbands #mother #napping #only #them

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#i #leaning #started #sunlight #toward

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#cult #dogs #i #i wonder #members

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#breasts #having #large #makes #men

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#cosmetic #doctor #full #going #i

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#hollywood #marriage #milk #outlasts #success