Rita Rudner

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#i #just #laugh #make #middle

I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country; people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#around #before #business #country #get

I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#get #happy #i #i write #joke

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#because #class #got #groin #i

I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#decided #desire #had #i #stand-up

I just love dogs, and there really is no better companion than an animal. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#better #companion #dogs #i #just

I love to write jokes and that's all I think about. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#i #i love #i think #jokes #love

I started taking ballet lessons when I was 4, and I was performing in ballet companies when I was 10, and I did summer stock in Miami Beach when I was 12, and finally I said, 'I gotta go to Broadway.' ↗

— Rita Rudner

#beach #broadway #companies #did #finally

I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#body #disappeared #every #every time #gotten

I'm a very simple person. I'm very shallow. Shallow, simple, easily pleased: that's me. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#i #me #person #pleased #shallow