Steven Wright

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number. ↗

— Steven Wright

#considered #got #i #into #long

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. ↗

— Steven Wright

#die #fiction #i #leaving #science

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke? ↗

— Steven Wright

#joke #laughs #nobody #tell #you

Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it. ↗

— Steven Wright

#get #how #i #irons #notice

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff. ↗

— Steven Wright

#box #make #out #plane #stuff

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back? ↗

— Steven Wright

#heat #saw #wave #would #you

I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific. ↗

— Steven Wright

#buy #general #i #me #specific

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter. ↗

— Steven Wright

#i #last #last night #letter #me

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second. ↗

— Steven Wright

#executive #i #only #saw #second

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy. ↗

— Steven Wright

#dizzy #driving #got #had #i