#funny

I didn't dream about you last night. I woke up in fear. ↗

— Michael Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. ↗

— George Carlin

#belief #die #gets #goes #roof

Electricity is really just organized lightning. ↗

— George Carlin

#electricity #just #lightning #organized #really

Democracy was supposed to champion freedom of speech, and yet the simple rules of table decorum could clamp down on the rights their forefathers had fought and died for. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#democracy #ettiquette #freedom #freedom-of-speech #funny

I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me. ↗

— Jimmy Carr

#comedian #find #funny #happen #i

I really wanted to find a piano for the farm house. There were so many free pianos on Craigslist, I thought, 'Let's get as many free pianos as we can and stick them all in the barn.' I got eight in a short period of time, only six of which were tunable, but it's still quite funny. ↗

— Neko Case

#eight #farm #find #free #funny

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. ↗

— W. C. Fields

#add #cook #even #food #i

I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time. ↗

— Will Ferrell

#been #cent #four #funny #i

I think the pattern of my essays is, A funny thing happened to me on my way through Finnegans Wake. ↗

— Leslie Fiedler

#funny #funny thing #happened #i #i think

It's funny to be a critic. ↗