Choose language

Forgot your password?

Need a Spoofbox account? Create one for FREE!

No subscription or hidden extras

Login

Phyllis Diller

Read through the most famous quotes from Phyllis Diller




It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder, and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.


— Phyllis Diller


#motherhood #parents #nature

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.


— Phyllis Diller


#aim high #foot #high #off #shoot

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.


— Phyllis Diller


#children #down #first #lives #months

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.


— Phyllis Diller


#accidentally #day #enjoyed #ever #gin

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.


— Phyllis Diller


#away #children #going #home #keeps

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.


— Phyllis Diller


#best #best way #eat #get #kitchen

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.


— Phyllis Diller


#bad #commemorate #cooking #harbor #kids

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?


— Phyllis Diller


#cause #condoms #crisis #doctors #having

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.


— Phyllis Diller


#bachelor #guy #made #mistake #never

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.


— Phyllis Diller


#football #never #outfit #play #play football






About Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller Quotes




Did you know about Phyllis Diller?

Diller also starred in two short-lived TV series: The Pruitts of Southampton (1966–1967); later retitled The Phyllis Diller Show) a half-hour sitcom on ABC; and The Beautiful Phyllis Diller Show (1968) a variety show on NBC. "Am I too late for the trash?" Phyllis Diller'd yell. She created a stage persona of a wild-haired and eccentrically dressed housewife who made self-deprecating jokes about her age and appearance her terrible cooking and a husband named "Fang" while pretending to smoke from a long cigarette holder.

Phyllis Diller (July 17 1917 – August 20 2012) was an American actress and comedienne. She created a stage persona of a wild-haired and eccentrically dressed housewife who made self-deprecating jokes about her age and appearance her terrible cooking and a husband named "Fang" while pretending to smoke from a long cigarette holder.

back to top