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Phyllis Diller

Read through the most famous quotes from Phyllis Diller




You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.


— Phyllis Diller


#discontinued #know #old #type #you

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?


— Phyllis Diller


#asked #been #cheap #couple #fang

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.


— Phyllis Diller


#gloves #liver #old #old age #show

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.


— Phyllis Diller


#away #bottle #children #follow #keep

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.


— Phyllis Diller


#head #him #keep #laughing #pro

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.


— Phyllis Diller


#died #dog #licking #our #picture

A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are.


— Phyllis Diller


#bad #comic #end #every #get

My father used to call me the laughing hyena.


— Phyllis Diller


#father #hyena #laughing #me #used

My own laugh is the real thing and I've had it all my life.


— Phyllis Diller


#i #laugh #life #my life #my own

The last thing I'd learn, well into my career, was how to get on, how to say hello, how to get in with the audience.


— Phyllis Diller


#career #get #hello #how #i






About Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller Quotes




Did you know about Phyllis Diller?

Diller also starred in two short-lived TV series: The Pruitts of Southampton (1966–1967); later retitled The Phyllis Diller Show) a half-hour sitcom on ABC; and The Beautiful Phyllis Diller Show (1968) a variety show on NBC. "Am I too late for the trash?" Phyllis Diller'd yell. She created a stage persona of a wild-haired and eccentrically dressed housewife who made self-deprecating jokes about her age and appearance her terrible cooking and a husband named "Fang" while pretending to smoke from a long cigarette holder.

Phyllis Diller (July 17 1917 – August 20 2012) was an American actress and comedienne. She created a stage persona of a wild-haired and eccentrically dressed housewife who made self-deprecating jokes about her age and appearance her terrible cooking and a husband named "Fang" while pretending to smoke from a long cigarette holder.

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