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Read the best #drug confession stories
Yesterday, I was home alone, I decided to bake muffins. The problem was that I didn't have appropriate spices, so I said to myself 'Why not?' and took pot instead. My family loved it.
Yesterday was the best evening of my life! All of my family members talked to each other. First, they fought and shouted at each other, a few minutes later they were laughing and dancing and singing. It was just great. I don't regret anything.
Twice a month I shoot meth with my older sister and week fuck for 2 days in a hotel. It's the best sex I have ever had.
I accidentally got my high school girlfriend pregnant.
She was 15 and I was 16. We were both into the drug culture of our high school and were very commonly having unprotected sex.
I have been an uncle since the age of 3 and have had a job since I was 14. I wasn't affraid of having a child. My mother was angry, but supportive. At 16, I was ready to become a dad.
The day had come when my girlfriend would have our baby girl. I was very excited. Her parents and the rest of family blocked me from the hospital. I was told our child didn't make it.
Jump ahead 35 years and I find out through an anonymous letter. My daughter is a live and well. She is living on Long Island. She thinks I am the one that is dead.
Now I have now decide whether to tell her I am alive or make believe she doesn't exist.
Lately I've had an intense desire to try drugs. I just want to be reckless and step out of the boundaries. Sometimes I think "f**k it". I think I'd really like to at least smoke weed. I even fantasize about f**king some random men to get drugs.
I accidentally gave my cat the wrong pill, she is now drugged up and may have liver problems. I feel like I've made an innocent creature go through grief for nothing, it kills me that there's nothing I can do now.
I got a good job in New Jersey last Spring but the distance from my parents house was a long drive everyday. I finally found a room to rent nearby at a price I could afford. The woman who owns the house is Helen who I'm not sure but think she must be 50 or around that. I don't know what kind of pills she takes but by 6 or 7 every night she walks around like a zombie and by 10 or 11 passes out in the living room or her bedroom. She told me she kicked her husband out years ago and has a daughter who lives in New York and that she has lived alone for 6 years. Whatever those pills are they make her so oblivious I can't understand how she goes to work every morning during the week since on weekends she is even worse. It happens a night or two during the week but on weekends she hardly ever gets dressed and goes around in very skimpy PJ's or night shirts never wearing underwear. The problem is she has terrific body for her age and just the way she moves around or passes out leaves her exposed to me. Aside from that she often passes out naked in bed or comes out of the bathroom naked, so high she probably thinks she is still living alone. I didn't do this right away but when she passes out naked in bed a few months ago I began going in the room to look at her and masturbate as I do. If she passes out in the living room its usually on her recliner and if she is in one of those night shirts I pull it up enough to see her vagina and also see her anus just by the way she is laying there. Even when she wears PJ's its never the flannel type she always wears the shiny, silky type and some more shear than others. The best part is she never has a bra or panties on whether she wears the PJ's or a night shirt. There have been some days where I jerk off 2 or 3 times depending on how high she is or how often she doses off. For the last month or so I put my penis in her hand sometimes but only when I'm sure she is really zonked out.
I’m DEADPOOL. That’s right, I’m the real Deadpool. No I’m not crazy. I’ll leave a secret code that only those who really know me could figure it out. WMHRSNSCARDCESCAECKAGCFLFWAHACLJ. Only the few who really know me could decipher that.
I started making up characters as a kid. Deadpool started in the 70’s. That’s right. Your getting the real origin of Deadpool.
I had some old comics. In one of them the Shadow fought a Ninja dressed in Red on a sub. My favorites were Cap & the Avengers, & Batman. But I liked this red ninja. So I made me as a super hero named “Red Ninja” when I was really little. In time the character got a much better name.
Over time he got cooler names. I won’t tell you his real name. My real character he became in my 20’s is very similar to Deadpool. I like mine better.
When I nearly died recently I destroyed all my 1,000’s of characters & their back stories. Old drawings. I’d hoped to one day draw my own comics, or let my children. But I’m near death so it’s not going to happen. No one wanted them. So I shredded them. I had to move into a tiny place. I had some way cool stuff though.
Starting in the early to mid 80’s I sent some of my worst characters & some ideas to Marvel Comics. I was going to use the good ones for my own comics. I’m pretty sure I saw one of my characters vaguely in a comic. Very vaguely. Either way I got some No Prizes. Empty envelops. The first one I wrote & said I didn’t get a prize. The prize was no prize, an empty envelope. You just give them ideas for characters; stories. But it becomes their property. You give it away.
Well; somewhere around 1990 or so; while in college, I decided to send Marvel one of my mediocre characters. I kept the best to myself. I was offered an art scholarship, but pursued other stuff.
Please realize I “gave” them the character. Just a rough idea. I did not give them my real character. I honestly don’t even remember what all I wrote in the letter.
In no way am I claiming anything beyond a rough idea. They apparently took a vague idea & made something cool out of it. So the character is completely theirs. I merely gave them a seed to plant & grow. Im not even certain they used my idea. The visual; mannerisms, & name make me convinced they did. Either way; I gave it away for fun, so who cares.
Around this time I was still collecting comics; but I stopped. That’s why I mailed this to them. My life was fixing to change dramatically. No more time for childish things. No more collecting comics. So since I doubted I’d ever pursue my comic ideas; I gave Deadpool (not my characters real name) away as a joke. I wanted to see if “I” could live on in the comic books, in case I died on a battle field. I loved Marvel. If they thought him/me worthy of being a super hero/villain, then it would mean my much better characters would be cool if I ever made my own comics. I had 100’s better than Deadpool.
Well I forgot all about it. No more kids stuff for me. My kids got into all the super hero stuff many years later. One day my daughter said dad. You have got to watch this movie called “Deadpool”. He’s just like you. I scratched my head. Realize my character has a different name. But I’m pretty sure I called the alternate less fleshed out version of red ninja; the bad “punisher” like pretend version of me, “Deadpool”. The one I mailed Marvel.
She said he’s just like you. The guy who plays him looks a lot like you (not really. But I am attractive. And I married a beautiful woman). He talks endless trash. Is always trying to be funny. Uses two swords and guns at once. Wears a red ninja outfit. Never shuts up. Cusses. Can do all that ninja gymnastics stuff like you. He’s you. Huh? That did sound like me.
So I watched the movie; remembered sending the idea to Marvel, & laughed my butt off. She asked what was funny. I said that is me. That’s really me as a super hero. I mailed that idea to Marvel before I married your mom way back in college. I didn’t know they made it into a super hero. Of course she didn’t believe me.
Now let’s be clear. I’m not taking credit for the character or anything. I can’t even remember what I mailed them. I had been drawing characters since age 7 or so. Red Ninja had been me since the 70’s.
I was finally giving up buying & collecting comics. No more drawing & expanding characters. I was putting all of that away & growing up. Time to leave college & start life. I never thought of that stuff again till she made me watch the movie. She was right though; that was me, especially back in the late 80’s & early 90’s.
I won’t bore you with the whole story & details. Nor can I remember what all I actually even mailed them. But either way; I gave it to them. Looks like they used it. I was hoping someone would turn it into a character. That if I died I’d still be alive in a sense as a super hero. Just a private joke. So in my mind anyways; I pulled one on Marvel, got them to turn me into a super hero of sorts.
So since I have no clue what I mailed them I’ll show why my daughter saw the similarities. She had seen me training with two swords at once. And two knives. She’d seen me throw weapons & shoot guns with both hands. I’m an expert marksman with near any weapon, with both hands.
I do know martial arts. I have easily beaten multiple black belts with my mixed fighting style in training. I have extremely fast reflexes. Makes me really hard to fight. When I sent it in I had finally managed to slim my muscular body down from 275 lbs to under 250. To para jump or slide down ropes out of copters you must weigh under 250. I was so lean and low fat I had cuts & veins everywhere. I thought Deadpool having healing powers like Wolverine would be great. Instead of claws he’d use two swords & pistols like me. He’d have my agility; athletic ability; super strength (I was a power lifter). Only magnified for comics of course. I’m the lame real life version.
I was very conceited about my appearance & abilities. I talked endless trash. Cussed none stop. I never shut up. I still have a constant smile. I try to be funny and constantly try to make people smile & laugh. A crowd once watched me fight several men. They say I was turning flips. Doing crazy moves. Like Deadpool. And the whole time I was telling jokes and talking trash. That’s true. Like Deadpool.
I used to run track. I could nearly touch the top of a basketball backboard. Great at long jumping.
I was being trained by an ex special forces relative & was intending to join the military soon, which is why I mailed off the idea for Deadpool to Marvel. Letting go of my childish ways. Would be no more time for that. After I mailed it off o bought no more comics. Drew no more characters. I was done.
I had a relative of sorts who used to work with me some. He was impressed by my marksmanship. He had been a soldier & then soldier for hire. Mercenary. I was a great marksman so he thought I should try that after the military.
Well in high school & college I found myself living in this high crime gang controlled inner city. At night it was a war zone. Cops were afraid to come in there at night. So if you got caught up in something you were on your on. Like the fight I just talked about.
Starting as a little kid I used to fight to protect others. I slowly learned to mostly be quiet & passive in school. Until I moved into the gang area. Sometimes I’d fight to protect others. But not in front of teachers. At school I had fought to protect any weak loner. I don’t care what color you are. Religion. Gay. I would protect anyone. In my eyes we are all the same.
Well; those of you who work & goto school full time know, your rarely home. At night I’d wake up to gang activity. Screaming. Gun fire. Fights. People buying & selling drugs. Drug dealers are the root problem in these neighborhoods.
I’ve fought and been chased by gangs in high school. Been shot at just for walking home. Kids on those streets know what I’m talking about. I learned to mind my own business. But a few times I had to go out into the dark night. Batman.
Ninja movies were getting popular. I always trained with two knives & pistols at this time. So now I added two ninja swords.
So around the time I sent this to Marvel I’d snuck out at night & stopped a few crimes when I heard screaming. Usually only for a woman or child. Not dressed as a ninja. I’m the real guy.
I’ll give one example. I heard a woman yelling for help. I went running out. A very large man was trying to attack her with an ax handle. Trying to break thru her window. She was protecting her child. So I fought & disarmed him. Made him run away. Then I had to talk to the cops. Witnesses confirmed my story & I got off. People would watch. But not interfere. I’m lucky people liked me enough to speak up for me a couple of times. Had it been gangs they probably would not have. No one calls the cops on drug dealing gangs. They will do drive byes & stuff. Unlike Deadpool, I can’t magically heal.
I only did these things a few times. Real life isn’t a movie. But my friends had saw me in action. My wife had told my kids those stories & about the time she watched me fight & save another woman. And of course talk to the cops yet again.
In real life once you save the day; you then get to talk to cops; teachers, bosses. You get kicked out of school; paddled; almost arrested; fired. Real life isn’t a movie.
So Deadpool wasn’t really me. He was like an alter me. A bad version of me. He would go off into the military for special forces like I was planning. Be a Merc like I was contemplating. But he’d be half nuts. He’d decide to take out drug dealers and criminals to stop crime at the source. You know that voice in your head that you ignore. Hey go do this. You know better from listening to that voice as a kid. Don’t listen to that crazy voice.
That is the real problem in these neighborhoods. Drugs fuel the gangs. Addiction destroys people. Gangs strike fear in neighborhoods. Everyone is afraid to call or speak to cops. Cops are afraid to come there at night. They arrive way too late & in large numbers. By the time they do it’s usually too late.
So the goofy one in the movies does act a lot like me. Obvi I’m no nutt super hero. I’m the real guy. I based the character off me. I like what they did with it. Totally different from me. As I said; I mailed in a very vague idea. They appear to have developed it into something cool. But I can’t take credit for any of that. But the behavior & general description are so much like me that my daughter realized it when she watched the movie. They’ve all seen me get right up in the face of would be tough guys and talk trash; joke, & cuss just like Deadpool. They’ve seen me lift up very heavy weight. Shoot two pistols at once. Train with two swords. On & on. I have that endless grin on my face. Im the real Deadpool.
So where did the name Deadpool come from? As a child I was an amazing marksman. I never missed. Some vets nicknamed me Eagle eye & Deadeye. I liked Clint Eastwood. So I called the bad; drug dealer pretend version of me Deadpool. Pretty sure I sent that name in with the idea. But it’s not important.
There was a real Hollywood game. People tried to predict who would die. Then bet money (a pool). So this Deadpool version of me would instead pick which deadly criminals should die. He’d take their drug dealing money. That would be his income. His “pool” of money. Plus; Eastwood had a movie out around that time, “the Deadpool”. I think I was watching it on VHS when I wrote the letter.
Clint Eastwood played a vigilante in Dirty Harry movies. I preferred the spaghetti westerns.
So since I don’t think I’ll be alive much longer I thought I’d secretly confess that I’m convinced I’m the basis for Deadpool. I don’t care if anyone believes me. I did specifically tell them they could have the idea. I did ask them to turn it into a character for Marvel comics. I didn’t send them the real character. He was much more complex and pure. Instead I sent them something I thought people would want to watch & read. This was in the rap anti establishment days. No one liked Cap anymore. I’m a whole lot more like Cap. But no kidding. As I type this there are ninja swords hanging above my bed. There are two pistols on a nightstand by two knives. As I said; Im the real Deadpool. Well; sort of.
What do I look like? Well I’m very sick now. But I’m very lean. Weigh about 255. Very muscular. I was born with blond hair & blue eyes. People say I’m attractive. And I act “a lot” like the character in the movie still to this day. That’s why when my kids first saw the first Deadpool movie they ran in there saying dad, your in a movie, you’ve got to come see this. And yes; I am really that cocky. I’m convinced no one can beat me. I did learn to shut up at times. But I talk endless crap. I crack endless jokes. I never shut up. I have a crap eating grin non stop. I did not go into the special forces for a very good reason. Nor did I become a mercenary. I’m afraid the real me isn’t overly impressive.
I am no kidding wearing a shirt that’s blue with stars on the top. Alternating red and white vertical stripes on the bottom. I just realized that when I looked down. My kids had them made for me I guess. They look like one offs.
OK kids of mine. There it is. Let’s see if you can figure out my code. No one else ever will. I’ll give one of you a clue. See if you can surf the web and find this. Decipher the code. Prove I wrote it. You asked me to tell someone I invented Deadpool. That would be wrong. You can’t give something away. Ask someone to make something of it. Then try to take credit. So here it is. No name or proof. But my admission. One more joke. If you find this and read this have a good life. Now you know where I got the idea. From an old The Shadow comic I owned. Why did I like the red ninja? He was better than the shadow. That’s why when I sent the character to Marvel. Instead of sending them the real character that red ninja became; which I will not reveal here, I gave them a meaner version. A “Punisher” like version. A soldier for hire who didn’t just cross the line; he became a criminal of sorts. Much like Wolverine was in a comic or two. Dark. The opposite of me. Like alternate Superman.
I am very proud of you that you saw me in the way Deadpool acted. You even pointed out how I used to pull your legs & claim I could block bullets with my swords. That’s obvi a lie. But I’m still pretty good for a real person.
#deadpool #red #ninja #fun #laugh #funny #laughter #comic #comics #book #admission #riddle #code #drug #drugs #gang #fight #athlete #athletic #merc #mercenary #mouth #trashtalking #cuss #cussing #gymnast #agile #agility #gymnastics
I'll skip classes tomorrow because I wanna go to a big party tonight.
A lot of beer, drugs and stuff. It's gonna be GREAT!
Me and some other dudes of mine should give a speech in our philosophy class tomorrow but I'm not going. Should they do that.. :-)
I once went to a party with two girls and when i got there. The room was filled with loud music and Marijuana smoke. I smoke in the bathroom and got high as fuck. I was already drunk before i arrived. I walked into the room and all the mens eyes were on me. I proceeded to give them all lap dances. I could feel these men becoming horny as i danced. I wasnt wearing any panties. So im sure the scent of my pussy made them even more excited. After about 30 minutes of lap dancing my friend walked with me to the bathroom she left out and 3 men came in with their dicks out and hard. I was so horny i let them fuck me. When they finished nutting in me. 3 more came in and busted there semen in me. I was so turned on. I could have gotten fucked all night. My pussy was sooooo wet. More men came in to use my nut infused cunt. I was having the time of my life. Then this one guy had a huge dick. It had to be 12 inches long and 3 inches wide. He looked like he was holding a snake. He came in pushed me down and slid his big thick dick into my hot wet cunt. He pumped into me and i came so hard. I wanted another round with him. But he was done with me. Then more and more men poured into the bathroom to shoot their loads in me. I later found out that one of the girls i came with was selling my pussy.
I sell coke with a good friend of mine and for that reason we were always together or at his house etc. His younger sister who at the time this happened was 14 going on 15 and nothing short of stunning. I couldn't say it but my god she was hot. My friend always swore he'd never let her touch it. So one night he's not there for an hour or so and she's heading to a party with her bf who was nearly 18. Naturally she wants to seems cool and asks for some coke I say no. Then she starts acting flirty and touches me and I last a grand total of 40 seconds before I've got her pinned against a wall fingering her and sucking her tongue. I carry her upstairs and throw her petite body on the bad and reveal my throbbing cock to which she gasped only making it harder. I took my huge bag of coke and tipped it the length of my coke and handed her a metal snorter and she did it like a pro. Nothing sexier than a hot girl sniffing off your cock. I then preceded to give a girl the most consistently hard and fast fuck I've ever managed. I ended by mercilessly pounding her for near enough 10 mins and blew inside her and then she just sighed and collapsed onto the bed
As a kid I watched someone use drugs. They’d hallucinate. I said not me. When you see a person go from normal to screaming. Running from things not there. Hurting themselves and others. Not me.
Then I almost died. You wanna live? Take these meds. The meds led to new problems. New meds.
Then the meds caused PTSD. That led to more meds.
Well. One med made me hallucinate. I tried to escape I’m told. Can’t remember.
I do remember one med made me paranoid. This was compounded by a bad childhood and a real danger in our life. My wife tried to convince me the real danger was not real. But it was strange. It’s like when the TV preacher; radio DJ; newscaster. Well.
You now how in a movie they don’t look into the camera? That breaks the illusion your watching something real. You now realize the actor is looking at the audience. Hey. I’m an actor.
Well. On this med my mind would say. Did they just look at me? I didn’t run off screaming. I knew they really weren’t. I just felt like they were.
Off and on I’ve been thru stuff like that. Take this med. I don’t want to. But I never tell them about the side effect.
But I beat it. When I wasn’t on such meds. I called some shows. Heard myself. Had others do it. Heard them. See now they really were to me and others. One liked me so much I met them. Took pics. Me and others. They remember. Got the pics. So it’s real.
Well they’ve had me on said meds again. Can’t sleep. Paranoia. But I beat it. I called some shows. Broke the spell. I went thru. Heard me talking to me. Delayed of course.
Oh. I’m still feeling that itch; nervous; hot cold; sick to stomach; shaky; nervous stuff. I hate these meds. But I now know it’s paranoia. I altered the show. Made them talk to me. Heard it delayed.
Then I did the greatest thing you can do to paranoia. I hung up. Changed channels. Put on a movie. Said I don’t care who thinks what about me. I’m a good person. They can laugh at me. But I can laugh at them too. F them. It’s nothing personal. I just have to live within what meds are doing to me.
So it’s fading. Losing its hold on me. I’ll wait a week or two. Then slowly listen again. If it’s just a show I’ll stay. If not two more weeks.
I may have to take these meds to stay alive longer. But I don’t have to let the side effects control my life.
I was diagnosed with depression 4 years ago , I was so confused but everything started to make sense. I was introduced to self harm and she became my bestfriend, i cut myself so much I have lots of scars they are very noticeable. I abused a lot of drugs for example meth , weed , & pills I also drank a lot of alcohol to escape the pain I feel everyday, I'm miserable so very miserable, my anxiety has gotten very bad that I stay in my room at all times . I hate going out and as sad it sounds I just prefer to be dead . Please save me
im 17, my mom is a drug attict but i love her to death, she does heroin, and crack, this year 2016, i started to do herion somtimes and smoke crack sometimes, i just started because i have triedd other drugs just for the experience but i wonderd why my mom does heroin and cack all the time.. now i know the reason, but anywayone day i got a bag of heroin from my mom, she is aware i do it somtimes. anyway, i do this bag of heroin and i felt amazing, all i rember is closing my eyes, apperently i was dead, my body was purple from no oxygen and i wasnt breathing so my mom and my bestfriend who was there but she didnt know i was on drugs, they called the ambuence and they had to stick somthing up my nose so i can start breathing again, i woke up in the hospital and once i was told that i was dead i flipped out, i actually want to die, anyway after that i stopped for a while but now i do it again, yesterday night i did 2 bags of dope, the first one i did about 8pm, i didnt really feel what i wanted by 9pm so i did another one, about 20 min later i was smoking a blunt of weed with my sister and i wasnt feeling good at all, my head felt ike it was going to explode, so i put the blunt out and went into my house, i said goodnight to everyone and to her, i went in my room and i already knew i was overdosing, i tried so hard to keep myself awake because i didnt want to die so randomly, like i wasnt ready, i kept myself up untill 3 am and then finally said fuck it and went to bed, i woke up fine buti just been thinking since then.. why didnt i just lt it happen, maybe i want to live?.. idk but i really want to do it again and end it,,
Meth is like a song to me. Like a song you hear on the radio once in awhile but you turn the volume up when it plays. I haven’t done it in awhile, but I’m having cravings for meth and coke. I’m 15 and my friends know about me smoking weed, but they don’t know that I’d do anything to snort a line right now.
So I... had an affair with this guy some three years ago. Ugly as fuck, to be honest. Ok I mean, just really unattractive. Our relationship was essentially based on weed. Not that I didn't buy my own. But I would always use with him, just to have someone to smoke with, since I get really anxious when I do. I would smoke loads back then. Then I stopped buying it. 'cause I wanted to stop. But I kept visiting this man's house. We wouldn't have sex anymore, I was having sex with another guy, a friend of his actually. This other guy was kind of nice and really cares about me but I cut him out of my life 'cause he won't have sex with me anymore 'cause he thinks I'm desperate. Which I kind of am. My life is so dull 'cause I have no plans, no projects, no motivation. Aside from weed, I smoke cigarettes and drink, I don't drink too much but yeah, I'm kind of the addictive type you know. Most of all I was addicted, I still am, to these two men. And I'm also anorexic/bulimic, not too thin lately, and I've managed to stop the binging and purging, I'm making progress you know, but still no future, no education... I used to be in university. I was studying philosophy. I was the brightest student in my year, but I was always on drugs and when I started sleeping with these guys I pretty much gave up on everything else. I tried to launch a music career, so to speak. I mean, as I was hurting like a goddamn dog I started composing sad tunes on my guitar. I've been in therapy all my teen and adult life, I'm 23, it's been more than ten years, with different therapists. Maybe I'm gay, maybe I'm bisexual, maybe I'm a random nymphomaniac, narcissistic, shizotypical, borderline fucked up mess with daddy issues and a self-centred attitude and paranoia and bipolar depression and no friends, virtually zero people I trust. I have no idea what I am, it's not like I've been abused and furthermore I got tested and they say I have nothing, I'm just kind of above average intelligence-wise and particularly sensitive, that's what they say. I taught myself how to play piano in ten days and I can do some pretty impressive stuff and bla bla bla yeah I'm showing off. But really I'm just so sad. I dropped out of uni, anyhow. Oh, I said that already didn't I. And I masturbate almost daily but with a sense of disgust even. I don't enjoy any kind of porn anymore, and I don't even enjoy actual sex, I mean, I had a couple of really good fucks with these two guys but yeah who cares. And what kills me is I've been so in love with the second guy but I fucked up because I'm fucked up and now he's gone but it's been three years and I was his first girl so it was bound to happen wasn't it. Why shouldn't he want to be with someone normal who doesn't hit him when he doesn't want to have sex, someone who is not so whiny as I am, so bitter and self-centred and FUCK I wish I could turn back time or I just wish he could DIE sometimes I really do everything except move on with his life leaving me here in my ugly stinky rut. I'm so depressed I've gotten used to it but sometimes I get these glimpses of lucidity and they really hurt.
#life #sex #drugs #weed #future #depression #addiction #issues
I am in my 40s divorced 3 kids. I just started shooting meth. when I shoot meth I Immediately turn into a sexual deviant. I had the same problem when doing coke, I swallow and love it when high
A neighborhood girl (12) was going around bullying the other kids and trying to act "cool" claiming she drank and smoked and drugged all the time (you know the type) i gained this knowledge from my 10 year old niece who was one of the girls bullied, well i decided to she needed a lesson, coming from the background i did i was able to aquire a small amount of meth, the bully always carried around this knockoff purse, so i went to speak with her about bullying my niece (knowing full well she would just be a little twat) well as she was running her mouth i casually dropped the baggie of dope in the purse she had set on the bench, i walked a block away abd called the cops and tipped in that a minor was in possesion of drugs at the park, she waa arrested, charged with a felony and did six months in juvie, i later heard she was constantly getting beat up for running her mouth in there, even though it was a horrible thkng to do shes now no longer a cunt and is even doing better in school.
I grew up in the high desert california where the meth was by leaps and bounds better than any other i have ever had... So always around it always had it without ever spending one dollar on it, due to my mom being a crazy down ass bitch and cool help the cooks..and so lets fast forward almost 20 years 18 of those married three kids living in a different state and times are very hard right now in the oil industry.. O im doing what i know best by using the last of my money we had and bought a large amount of dope and brought to a town where its hard to get and have 1 guy get rid of it for me and double my money and have plenty to go around everyone is happy me and wife smokin the shit out of it..to the point of me getting hooked on jackin off with people on omegle when ever i get the chance cause im laid off and might have a guy fuck my ass...
I have been recreationally consuming butane for the past few weeks. At first it was a head rush and woozy feeling, but over time strong hallucinations now kick in the more I do.
In a recent session, I did quite a bit, reached the dream-like hallucination state which never actually feels very good, calmed down and got back to normal. I usually stop after that point, but no, I decided to do more.
The hallucination state kicks back in, strongly, and it feels like I'm about to die. Shapes and colours meld and twist, my heart races and beats irregulary, there's a roaring sound in my mind and I hallucinate I'm rigged up to a vital monitoring machine which is screaming at me.
I tear myself away from my desk, panting very heavily, adrenaline pumping through my veins, thinking this is it. I start to ball my eyes out, begging not to die as I think of my family and life ahead of me. I slowly but surely calm my breathing and reality goes back to normal.
I've resolved to never touch the drug again, ever. This is my way of getting my thoughts out there.
Thank you.
For years now I've engaged in masturbation sessions while talking to phone helpline counsellors about fictitious issues that have a sexual undertone but never directly relate to sex. Having my mind taken off the fact that I'm playing with my cock enables me to edge for hours and with the addition of aphrodisiacs in the form of recreational stimulant drugs it can be mind blowingly intense and orgasmic for a prolonged period. I make sure I have ample time and set the mood so I can totally relax and get into my story of anxiety and guilt over my varied self destructive behaviours with my unsuspecting phone counsellor/sex operator. The more concerned and sympathetic they are the more arousing it is. They use terms like " I imagine it's very hard " or " you sound like you need to take control " and then, " what do you think you could do to relax and take your mind of it, is there an activity you used to do that made you feel good that you haven't done for a while ???, what about something as simple as taking a warm relaxing bath ???. Oh fuck yeah, sometimes I'll go all the way and take the chance by replying that a warm bath sounds wonderful, and that I'm a bit embarrassed to say but I used to use masturbation to help feel better but I'd lost interest in that. Most will respond positively and reassure you that you can talk about anything without them judging you. One even suggested masturbation as a stress relief mechanism and that if I was having trouble with the desire to self medicate with self pleasure try using internet porn as a way of sparking arousal. " really, I have seen the odd movie years ago but I guess I could have a look online, is there like, full sex and like a movie I saw once with two girls and a guy ? I ask. There anything you can think of, I'm not an expert she says but there's everything and anything people might do or enjoy sexually, really, I'd be happy if I could even find a video of a nice girl masturbating too I say, oh there's plenty of that she says as I blow all over myself trying not to moan out loud into the phone. It's terrible I know, using the wonderful souls that volunteer their time to help others but the soothing sound of a sweet caring female voice is such a turn on.......... and it's free. I get racked with guilt and shame afterwards but I do it again when I feel the need, it's like an addiction and adds another horny dimension to my portfolio of secret sexual behaviours.
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