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I spend hours everyday trying to talk young people out of suicide. I seem to be very good at it.
But I feel suicidal myself. I have a disease that’s tearing my body apart. I have no one who loves me.
I’ll keep fighting for now. But this disease is beating me down.
I am male, 27 and I hate it that every friend of mine is getting married, are having children, buying their own houses. I never had a girlfriend in my whole life. I just don't wanna grow up and have babies. That's just not me. But no one understand. They are all talking and saying I should get a girlfriend.
I am scared, I am just not the right person for a relationship.
I confess that I am too scared to get into a relationship.
I absolutely hate and despise a certain fat, disgusting, toothless slob on the internet who goes by the name "Brett Keane" and yes he tells everyone his real name in his youtube videos when he introduces himself, so I'm not doc dropping by saying it. Unfortunately, he has no problem doc dropping other people. He did that to many people years ago. The fat piece of shit has been trying to get famous on the internet for 20 years now, but he always gets caught up in petty drama with people, he lies and slanders them. If they attack him back, he pretends to be the victim and tries to get their accounts banned. Either from youtube, twitter or whatever social media he is actively using at the time.
I was nice to him and on good terms with him many years ago until he stabbed me and all his friends in the back. He would run chatrooms where people could discuss religion/politics or video games, he will be friends with you until you reveal a secret thing about yourself, then he will blast it all over the internet if you ever say something that annoys him, and he gets very easily annoyed.
He claims to have agoraphobia which is his excuse to why he lays in bed all day and wont get a job. His wife works and he treats her like shit. She even filed domestic abuse charges against him many years ago, before forgiving him and taking him back. All of this has been outed on the internet. He has become a lol cow and a dumpster fire that a popular podcast called "the drunken peasants" used to make fun of. Brett loves to talk shit publically about anyone who disagrees with him, sometimes he even slanders people by calling them pedophiles, with no fucking evidence. If you cross him he will instantly block you and then try to have your account banned. Publically he pretends to be a nice guy who gets attacked for no reason, but everyone knows that he is an evil pathetic piece of shit. Brett has been banned from YouTube and twitter many times, but always comes back with a new account, to continue his bullshit. Of course he claims that he was always banned unjustly and that he is the victim.
His new routine is pretending to be a hardcore Christian conservative trump supporter. But not long ago he was an atheist who attacked Christians. He is a fraud, always asking for donation money.
I hope he dies.
I feel lost. A year ago I was in the hospital from dka and I was in a coma for almost two weeks. My previous ex saved me from dying but also left me because of me being sick. I've always been depressed and I've always been okay with the idea of dying deep down inside. I try to push it off and try to bury myself in other people's problems so I can help them and I even help others out of depression but I can't help myself. I'm with someone very special to me but I still feel like I'm just not suppose to exist. I can't fight the feeling that I'm holding everyone back and I'm just getting in the way and that my condition is just making people feel sorry for me. I have a problem with accepting that people love me because I just can't love myself. I can't shake the feeling of needing to be gone. I can't shake feeling like no one should have saved me when I almost died. Like they should have been late and that I should have died. I just want everyone to be happy because I just can't be. I'm tearing people apart and pushing people away because I feel like I'm hurting people and I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. Why do I feel so alone when I have someone who cherishes me more then anything in the world. I don't understand why I'm like this. I can't understand why I wanna die so much but I do and I have no one I can say this to because if I do they will just call me crazy but am I so crazy to want everyone to be happy and not feel like I do? I want people to feel free to do what they want without worrying about sick me at home. I don't want to be a burden anymore even when they tell I'm not o still feel it. I know it inside that I'm just holding everyone back. That I'm hurting people like I hurt inside...I just don't wanna feel alone anymore. I don't trust myself or my thoughts alone anymore. I'm just broken....
Whenever I am bored, I call a random number and as soon as someone picks up I sing the song "My heart will go on" by Celine Dion. So much fun!!!
I have to wear diapers for years now for urinary incontinence problems. However; my wife doesn't know if like cumming in them. Should I be punished?
I get depressed when I hear how well friends/family are doing but when they tell me something bad or when something went wrong I feel better about myself..... also I fucking hate people in my home town i have fantasys about a post apocalyptic world where I'm the new leader of my town and I execute and torture the people who I don't like..
I am lazy. It's not somthing I can control I just am.
I don't have a bunch of energy like every one else seem's to have. I sit and play on my laptop every day and somtimes I will watch TV while I'm on my laptop. I do get up and clean I just don't do it right a way.
My life is so monotonous, that I don't have anything to confess... please don't tell anybody
I’ve fought a terrible disease for many years. Most with it don’t last long. Someone has openly mocked me since I finally couldn’t work anymore. Then he saw someone else with it that was female. He realized what I’ve been dealing with all these many years. That person of course isn’t going to make it. Most don’t. He was like why can’t they save her. Because not enough people care.
I think he now realizes his day will come. We are all dying from the moment we are born. I go to Heaven when I die. But I do get mad at God at times. Not for me. For others. I want a fair and just world. It doesn’t exist. Hopefully this shit show will make more sense once I get to Heaven. It sure as heck doesn’t right now.
But I’m like Rocky. I keep getting up and swinging. I told them to bury me face down so the world can kiss my ass on the way out. With every day there is hope of a rainbow. Usually I get a shit shower instead.
I think my neighbour is a vampire. He lives in the apartment above me and I haven't seen him in daylight. When he moved in it was 11.30 pm, I was in the bathroom (dyeing my hair) and from there you can see our entrance. Since then some mysterious things happened and now I am afraid he will kill me.
One night, I was in the bathroom again, I heard screams from above. It sounded like there's someone locked in a box, knowing and screaming for help.
One night, around 10 pm, the doorbell rang and some strange, old lady stood in front of my door. As I opened it, she ran into my apartment, stopped in my living room and looked around. I was very perplex and before I could do anything about it, she left and went straight upstairs to the apartment of my vampire neighbour.
I confess that I believe in vampires and that I am scared.
I'm truly and honestly afraid of disabled persons. No matter if mentally disabled or physically.
Even if I try to talk myself into believing that they it's not their fault, it just creeps me out. I was in an elevator with one once and I almost started crying, I even hyperventilated and almost passed out.
I avoid this topic and everything that has to do with it.
#disabled #person #mentally #physically #creep #elevator #scared
I hate niggers and wish them all dead. But of course, that is most definitely a sinful thought. The irony is that I myself am a nigger. I'm so lost...
I am very depressed. I have lost all of my friends since I started high school just 7 months ago any my mom dad and sister are abusive. I am the oldest and I get walked all over and my parents are extremely mentally abusive. I would never report anything as i am scared of what would happen. My best friend is going to leave me as soon as she moves home from over seas and I'm worried. I don't have any friends and i could really use a boyfriend to help but i feel like i would just be better served dead.
I went out and sat on the park bench to think. It was early in the morning and this jogger ran by and I watched him. I got up and decided to get a cup of coffee so I went to this small breakfast place and ordered breakfast. I went home and felt bad for eating so much, got into the shower and spent some time washing my penis. It felt good. I thought about the jogger. I dried off and decided to masturbate. I got the lube out, my butt plug, inserted it in. Got the camera out, set it up, got the mirror set up and jerked off. It felt good. I looked out the window and saw these kids at the bus stop. I wondered if any of them were masturbating yet. I'd be glad to teach them.
I got dressed, as much as needed, set up for work. The day went by slowly, issues came up and I handled them. At noon I had some soup, no sense in eating too much. After work I decided to go out and see if I could be picked up. I went to the usual place where men come looking for men like me. I got in the car with a man and he said he wanted it hard, ok with me. We went to this motel where he had a room rented. He was rough, men like him are always rough. He dropped me off back where he picked me up, I walked home and masturbated again and now I need to get some sleep.
I caught my little sis and boyfriend screwing. It was such a weird feeling. I liked and didn't like it at the same time. They were going at it and getting into it like I have never seen or experienced. I just stood there silently and watched. Now I am so confused in so many ways and no idea what to think or do. I confess to being lost.
There is so much on my mind right now I don't know where or how to start.
I am exhausted I am tired I am lonely I am stressed I am crowded.
I don't want to be with people, but I do not want to be alone either.
University is killing me right now one test after another and another. Work is horrible, I am being bullied and threatened.
I just want it all to stop.
I just want to sleep.
When the pandemic hit I really put myself out there. Tried to help. But my health has faded. I tried my best. I think I’m done. I don’t think my body has much left. I just can’t fight forever.
I want to wish penile cancer on the men who don't find me attractive.
#frustration #boredom #lust #wrath
I want my best guy friend, who has a girlfriend, to fuck me hard and lick my pussy till I squirt.
Confessions by confessionstories.org
