Craig Ferguson

I'm gonna enjoy being old I think I'll be awesome at it. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#age

I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#football #strategy #thanksgiving #family

Its easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#money #spiritual #money

Whether I or anyone else accepted the concept of alcoholism as a disease didn't matter; what mattered was that when treated as a disease, those who suffered from it were most likely to recover. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#disease #pathology #recovery #rehab #recovery

You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout, I'm telling you why, Cause Santa Clause might put a cap in your ass. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#violence #violence

Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#control #writing #addiction

Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#masturbation #poem #poetry #thanksgiving #food

She still cared for me, and the best way I could make amends to her was to be happy. I do have a knack for finding great women. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#divorce #happiness #women #divorce

I knew that I had been partially right in the storeroom above the bar on Christmas Day. Whoever I had become had to die. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#change #christmas #death #suicide #change

I have a deep and profound mistrust of all politicians. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#politicians #politics #trust #politicians