George Carlin

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. ↗

— George Carlin

#disease #got #i #i think #interesting

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. ↗

— George Carlin

#alone #i #little #low #our

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. ↗

— George Carlin

#born #freak #front #get #row

The status quo sucks. ↗

— George Carlin

#status #status quo #sucks

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? ↗

— George Carlin

#could #english #english language #i #i am

Electricity is really just organized lightning. ↗

— George Carlin

#electricity #just #lightning #organized #really

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. ↗

— George Carlin

#fired #get #hard #just #money

The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept. ↗

— George Carlin

#answers #i #myself #only #reason

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. ↗

— George Carlin

#certain #church #completely #death #enough

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands. ↗

— George Carlin

#foot #hands #life #step #you