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i find i need to rub my breasts and pussy sometimes to ease the pain or physical tension.. so is that against god? i want a sexual relationship and intamcy and going out and having likes we share and doing activities together and feeling special. I have never felt special in someones arms. being raped is not feeling special. I want love and sex and time, and growth and plans, actively participating in life events that most people want. there some of the things I want in a relationship. i think that sounds normal. I don't want to be around men who abuse me who remind me of him. I want to find someone who can make sex nice if that is at all possible for me. love not just sex. time not just technique, genuine not just gughow. feeling right which that man never made me feel. i need to feel a lot of feelings with a man. I need someone who is not creepy like k, I need someone more real.
The reason why I felt like you cheated on me wasn't because i genuinely felt like you did something physical with them, but somehow i still felt betrayed. I had trusted you with talking with them at late hours during the night, I didn't even bring it up. I trusted that staying up just talking to a friend wasn't anything more than that, I put aside my feelings of jealousy because I wanted to put you above that, and I thought you finally opening up to people would help you in the long run, that it would help take some weight of my chest, that I could focus more on the relationship instead of your well being, that it could help us get better. when I heard he didn't even know we were dating, I felt betrayed, how could you not have brought it up at all? all those nights you spent talking, we both know he was getting feelings too, how could you have never brought it up? and then you told me white lies, that you were just breaking up with me because you weren't good enough, you needed to work on yourself, but I knew it was because you liked someone else, that you liked him, that sinking feeling in my stomach was still there and it was true. that is why I felt you cheated. because none of that was fair.
#cheating #love #relationships #sad
I don't even know if I want forgiveness. But I find this overwhelming urge to confess. I can't keep it in. The father of my child admitted he still has feelings for me. It felt like I was in a dream. He was out of my life and our son's life for 11 years. We've made amends and we are all on good terms. But things have felt off. Weird. I get mixed signals from him. He told me today he is always happy to see me and he always looks forward to seeing me because he still has feelings for me. He never stopped. Then he dropped the real juggernaut: he wants to have sex with me. He thinks about it. I admitted I think about it, too. That's the part where I feel guilty. Well, the first part of it. I can't tell him no. I am dangerous when sex is involved. I'm a lust addict. I felt myself flushing with feelings of lust when he was talking to me. Thoughts and feelings were swirling around. All the fantasies I've had about him since he resurfaced were playing in my head. Him admitting feelings and that he wanted to have sex with me felt like a fantasy playing out in real time. He said he wasn't going to act on it, but then said no, he didn't trust himself either. And jokingly said "well, maybe" in regards to having an opportunity to act on his feelings. It was alluded to several times. Basically, if we at all had an opportunity, or wanted to create one, we could. We could cheat together. I have a boyfriend and he has a wife. I don't necessarily want to cheat on my boyfriend. It's not like a desire I have specifically. Just like he doesn't want to cheat on his wife and hurt her. But when it comes to me and lust--like I said, I'm dangerous. I don't trust myself. I couldn't say no. I don't know how to explain it. It's a familiar feeling. Being overtaken by lust and feeling like I'm not in control. I've dreamed about cheating "accidentally" and feeling the horrific shame of not being able to undo what I did, despite feeling devastated, feeling like I didn't act of my own will. That's what it has felt like in the past. Not being able to say no to someone because, well, I didn't want to say no. I can't separate the "want" from the "should". I shouldn't do it, but I want to. I shouldn't have this slice of cake, but I want it. I cannot deny myself that which I crave. He's a craving. I did not need him to tempt me, to exacerbate and amplify my feelings for him. Especially now that he resolved all the tension and mixed signals I was picking up, I don't have to wonder if he's being an asshole or if he's hot/cold to me because of whatever made up reason. It's all clear now. And what I'm picking up is that he's ready to throw down. If only we had a chance... I wonder if fantasizing about that moment will be enough to satiate my desire. Or if I will need to make it a reality.
Im a 31 year old bi-sexual girl. And i must admit i do like my body. Wide hips, big ass, nice stomach, and avarage size boobs, and a cute face with sexy lips. Hazel eyes and long dirty blonde hair. I do have an odd fetish. Every morning as soon as i wake up before i go to the bathroom i walk to my glass patio door and slowly lean myself against it. As soon as my sensitive body parts hit the coolness i exhale hard and fog the glass. I slowly press everything hard against the glass while completely naked. Usually my body is pritty sticky and sweaty in the morning so i smear up the glass pritty good
: ). I stand as close as i can get my body to the glass and keep my legs touching eachother. Then i bend my knees forward untill they hit the window, then i lean the rest of my body inward and press everything hard against the cool surface. My knees, upper legs, thighs, hips, especially vagina, stomach, and tits get smashed flat against the window then i open my mouth wide and exhale hard but slow so my morning breath steams the glass up all around my face wich i duno why but loveeee doing. I can just stand there flat against the abused glass naked and breath heavy with my nose and lips slightly touching the cool glass and just watch the steam build up for hours and hours, and sometimes i actually have done it for hours. I can pass out from the bad smell comming from my morning breath as i make the glass smell grose. Hehe. I usually draw things in my breath like harts and all kinds of things, after a while i will start kissing the glass and perk my pritty pink sleepy lips up and smash them flat against the window with my botton nose pressed against it too. Thats when my puffy vagina starts to get real wet as well as im straining to keep it pressed hard against the glass. As i kiss the glass a couple times ill then lean just my face back a little bit and look at my kiss prints, uhhh they look so sexy as I turn myself on so i slide my finger over one of my lip smears as i get more and more horny and open my mouth to exhale heavy as i fog the glass up over and over i then start to grind my hips and thighs hard against the glass. Just thinking about what im doing fells amazing down there as i actually began to have long hard passionate sex with the glass door in my bedroom. My nipples feel like they can really cut glass there so hard and how im keeping them so flat and ferm against it. As i start breathing heavier i start panting on the window and kissing and sucking the glass. Uhh im so horny. My eyes are closed and im in feel good land were nothing else matters and all i can think about is me and the glass. I thrust myself hard against the glass, so hard i can actually feel the glass bending outward im fucking it so hard but it feels to good to care. Im after smashing mirrors before by having sex with them too hard, and once i lid one down on the floor and sat on it indian style with my legs and bum pressed so hard to it i smashed it into pieces. I only got a little cut on my left leg just under my ass cheek. But this glass door is stronger and thicker, Its ben putting up with me rapeing it for over five years now just about every morning and sometimes after i work out and i didnt smash it yet. So i keep rapeing the glass thrusting my vagina hard against it fucking it hard but slow so i can feel every grind. I reach down and open my pussy lips a little more and smash my soping wet sex organ flat on the glass again as i feel the inside of it flexing and spazing against the wet hot window im rapeing. I feel so sexy. I keep kissing and sucking hard as my mouth makes sounds. I picture watching myself on the other side looking at my wide hips bucking while flat. my sexy legs flat to the window leaving thick leg prints. my stomach expanding and contracting against the glass as i inhale and exhale, my tits flat as well while my nipples look like there gonna come through, my nose and lips smearing the glass so bad i can bearly see myself and my breath condinsation now beeding and dripping down the window and sooking my breast with my mouth open breathing heavy and moaning so loud i can hear myself clearly through the window. My pussy pressed so hard against it sliding up and down and leaving a trail of lust juice sliding down the glass, as i look close i can see the inside of my vagina twiching while flat cause of the sensation im getting from the smooth feeling of the glass. And i can clearly see the liquid oozing out the center while flat on glass. That section of glass is so lucky. My pussy has ben exploading life alternating orgasms while open wide and smashed on it almost every morning sence i lived here, sometimes twice a day feeling it spaz outta control and sucking it while flat as if it was trying to make it suffer. My naked body owns the glass for its my passion, my sex, my slave. while flat to glass my whole body feels so good. It feels like im taking it from the glass through my pussy and into my body, i just wanna press every inch of myself flat against the glass and rape it. As my pritty mouth keeps sucking and making a mess as well i start my orgasm and i really cannot explain the sensation. Its like i forget who i am for a bit and just become one with the glass as my whole body contorts and shakes. The only things i can feel is my extacy orgasm that no guy or girl ever gave me going into my pussy and through my body even to my toes. And my pussy felling like its a running tap. I cant handle it and i yell so loud if anyone is outside they would here me no problem, if not for the fact im plasterd to the glass with my sticky sweaty flesh i would colapse in orgasm. Im pritty sure i keep thrusting my hips while going through this. Thats how i smashed some of my mirrors. My sex was to much for it during orgasm i bucked to hard and never realized it. A part of me wants to smash the glass door into pieces too while in orgasm. Im surprized the feeling i get while in extacy doesnt come out my hot vagina and smash it as well, or even the wait of my naked body making it bow and bend. Its really really the best feeling in the world... And my friends wounder why i dont keep dates long. Its because the feeling i get is nothing compared to glassex. And the fact that i know ppl watch me is sexy too. There is a girl in the other wing of my building but her glass door is only like 20 feet or so from mine and every morning like clock work shes there leaning her legs and hips on the glass in her underwear watching me rape the glass, uhhh i loveeee it. But i think shes fully strait, which is to bad but i know i make her horny, she even leans in and kisses the glass sometimes when she knows im looking.
... True story : ) xo
#glassex #glass #sex #window #legs #orgasm #lips #hips #sexy #female #hot #naked #door #ectacy #tits #nipples #nose
This probably the last place i wanted to say my mind. Im girl who is already 18 has no experience whatsoever its so shitty. I have lived in a strict household all through my life i have attended only girls private schools from elementary to high school which were all catholic. I was so happy to finally go to College then they gave me a gap year then when i finally go to college the Corona comes. Im the best definition of a virgin i Have never kissed a guy i still do not believe that still possible. I have many guys who are just friends even sneak out to go out but I come back a virgin. I dont even know whether im looking for a relationship or idk. Im open for any opinions...
I like the relationship I am in. It will be 3 years when the semester ends; the longest one I've ever had. The issue is I don't think I'm in love with him and I don't see me completely falling for him for superficial reasons, but I want to make it work. I feel troubled and shitty.
#boyfriend #relationship #love #relationships #romance #selfish #vain #appearances
I have a crush on someone im not supposed to (Person A) and hes not supposed to like me too, i'ts not because their with someone its just that the circumstances are such and no we are not related, I had a crush on (Person A) a few years back then eventually I liked this other person (Person B) because (Person B) was closer to my age and we talked more, and (Person A) showed no interest in me whatsoever, (Person B) and I eventually started dating after a few years of being friends and (Person A) doesnt know about it yet. Lately its almost as if (Person A) has been trying to get closer to me, sometimes he makes excuses just to be around me or talk to me , im closer to his age now too, I think i'm starting to have feelings for him again and I think he's getting suspicious that im dating (Person B) and I think he's hurting.Also.. Person A and Guy B are siblings.. im a piece of shit
My sister has a good friend, lets call her Lynn. I have always wanted to be friends (sometimes more) with Lynn but I am not good at initiating social interaction so I was stuck were I was, seeing her occasionally when my sister brought her over. She always makes me smile and laugh and I admire her determination. Now Lynn is driving most of her friends away (according to my sister) including my sister, which means two things.
1. I won't get to see her as often/ almost never.
2. I have always wanted to be a mediator in conflicts and to help and comfort people in hard times. I want to help Lynn and comfort her and just be supportive especially because I feel a connection to her and want to be her friend, but I don't know how to become her friend because of such a lack of contact (also she is pushing away friends so I doubt she wants new ones). I feel like this is my chance to become friends with her and help her as a person but I just lack to means. By that I mean partially my lack of social skills but also Lynn dislikes my sister now and my sister is forcing herself on her, and I have no way to contact her other than via my sister which makes me feel awkward. I can't just be like 'Hey, you know that friend that hates you now. Ya, can I have their number."
When my fiance died, I was 26. We had been best friends since age 10 and did not start dating until I was 20 and in college. Considering how abusive my stepfather and mothers marriage was, my fiance always consistently made me feel safe and was very much a shelter in the storm. Reliable and protective in a way that I never had to worry about anything. I was very naieve to how much my fiance was worth or that they were one of the top ten wealthiest families in America. I've met people with money but never anyone so generous towards me: emotionally, physically, financially, sexually. Would go to pay a bill for a class or utility bill and it had already been paid. It is rare to meet anyone who 'sees your need, and meets your need,' without even having to ask. Why ask anyone to buy you yellow roses? If the intention or initative is not there to show someone love and kindness what is the point. People should go the distance to show you love, and you should go the distance for others. It creates a mutual reciprocity, a flow.
My fiances death, was interpreted by my body as hearthreaking pneumonia over the loss of my 16 year companion. For 5 years in a row I continued to catch pneumonia on the day that my fiance died like clockwork. Until I found out from working with a group of monks to heal in the mountains of San Francisco I had to face a deep grief known as survivors guilt for still being alive. After that, I never caught pneumonia again.
Fast forward to the pandemic and a man from mainland China comes off the plane directly into our spa in Jan of 2020, the owner who never gets sick, like once every 4 years went down like the titanic. Then I went down for two weeks but recovered quickly. In the process the blood banks were having shortages and offered to pay me $100 a pint because a lab out of State wanted to use my juice for making serum for cancer and transplant patients. Without blood donations or the serum neither can get treatment or transplants and die. The irony, the loss of a great love and all those years of being sick in fact made me immune to CoVid. Who knew God had a plan under all the pain.
I buried a family member this week, and have been feeling under the weather. Was around too many people maskless, and I am exempt via a Doctor for vaccines due to creating serum. My left lung hurts and I am coughing with a mild fever, I wonder if this is it? I have been here on prison planet existing without the love of my life and best friend for 22 years and I am tired of being here.
Beyond family, I have learned you can expend a lot of energy caring and supporting people. But no one sincerely cares about your emotional, physical or financial well being- people are raised to be too selfish and self serving. Only concerned about what they can get from you or what you can do for them. I think about all the people my family and I have helped along the way for years and not one of them has cared to check in on me or my family to see if we are alright during the pandemic without me first making the effort. What a waste of kindness, and effort when everyone is in survival mode. The worst is nothing your extremely wealthy friends see your suffering and instead of helping you just sit back and watch you continue to struggle. It is one of the greatest disappointments when it is within their power to empower you.
Sometimes when I go to sleep at night and close my eyes, I secretly hope not to wake up. To leave the cruelty of this world behind and wake up in the dreamy arms of the one person in my entire life that not only loved me in words, but in deed consistently. No lip service. No games. No drama. No flakiness. I dated a lot of people afterwards, many of which know nothing about loving others in a healthy way. So much so I just gave up hope of ever finding or meeting anyone, because peoples issues and drama just burned me out. Then they perceive you as either; not rich enough, skinny enough, wearing the right superficial labels or driving the right car, or your unwillingness to sponsor their gold diggeritis. It's just ridiculous and compounded with the fact peoples medical addicitions come in two, no thanks. After working in nursing, you learn so many people are just toxic and abusive. Humanity needs to change to a more loving and compassionate mindset, instead of this fear based survival exploitation mode. I was backstabbed for the last time by 2nd fiance, and by my own sister and mother last summer that I was trying to help and shall pass on being close to anyone. I trust no one anymore, as it is better to be alone than settle for less than you are worth. 90% of the planet are assholes, and the ones you think aren't are. I refuse to settle for this planets version of shit love and lust because they are ignorant to what true love and caring for another genuinely means. Grateful I did not have to spend my life searching for love or sleep around to find it when God blessed me with wonderful you, my true friend, my ally, my angel in this life and beyond.
I have survived long enough without you, I know you are proud of me, but I am ready to return home to you forever because it has been a very lonely, beautiful and disappointing journey far from the waking joyful dreams of our southern mansion surrounded by trees filled with spanish moss, sharing lemonade on a hot sunny day, skinny dippin on the beach and dancing under the southern stars with the laughter of our unborn children in the air. The world has forgotten that love, shared with those you love is everything, never take it for granted and stop wasting time listening to your own excuses that hold you back from love. Tell the people you love that you love them, that they matter, that you are grateful for their existence. See their need and meet the need without having to be asked. Make every sunrise and sunset count.
Forever Grateful for my fiance Lee being my love light in the darkness of this world and allowing me to carry that love with me like a Tesla solar backpack of love to complete the work I must do. And I have done a lot. Sweet dreams my love. Hope to see you soon if any of these variants will do their job, so to expedite matters I refused any medicine or medical treatment during the pandemic.
March 3rd, the two year countdown begins...your interstellar wife is finally coming home.
#fiance #grief #love #relationships #covid
I think I'm still in love with my ex. I think about her all the time STILL. We haven't been together for 3 years now, but I still know she is "the one" for me. It's torture, we don't talk or interact at all, she could be dead for all I know (she's not, but still), but I want to be with her so fucking bad.
I've never felt this way with anyone else before. It's crazy. I hate it.
#relationships #love #pain #regret
Its gonna be so weird...
Recently I’ve been hanging out with my old friend and she told me that she is bisexual. It’s okay for me, I didn’t mind that then, but later she introduced me with her friends. She told me that she has a crush on one girl of that squad, who is also bisexual. But then it turned out, that after my friend revealed that she is bi, all girls of that squad became bi. And Im the only left hetero, they all became a couples and I can’t even find a boyfriend. I actualy feel so awfull bout this. Idk what should I do.
Sometimes people just want to be kissed romantically underneath the night sky full of stars in Paris under the glow of the Eiffel Tower on a beautiful autumn night.
I'm 26 and all I've ever known was sex. The only relationship I've ever had was 3 months long. I lie about my past. I've never been in love and no one has ever been in love with me. But ever since I remember myself that's all I ever wanted. I don't know where I went wrong... Sometimes I'm scared that I'll never find love and I'll end up alone.
#lie #relationships #love #sex
I've been enjoying making my bf jealous, telling him other guys have been paying attention to me etc. I try to suppress it, but sometimes I just getting annoyed by his late replies often when he's replying a day after. I dont know how to get rid of this toxic trait. It feels satisfying. Right now I've been ignoring him for about a day and some sick side of me is hoping it'll make him want me more. Maybe I need therapy.
i have fictional stories i make with my partner, and they have stories with their friends as well. they only talk about or find any comfort in this one particular friend’s story and characters and it stresses me out, plus as of the past few months they’re extremely reluctant to talk about our stories and tend to get distracted, leave me on delivered, or otherwise show a lack of interest until the subject changes. it’s really hurtful and i don’t know what to do about it, and i’m especially worried not only because i’ve been cheated on before but because said friend is their ex. i trust them, but it’s really painful to think that they’re more comfortable and happy with their friend than me, their partner.
#relationships #hurtful #hurt #pain #cheating
I kissed my best friend’s crush last night. Well, technically he kissed me I suppose. But I didn’t exactly stop him and I feel bad because I definitely wanted it 😳💋
It makes me sad when I see photos of my friends with their partners. It’s at the point where I can’t even look at pictures of them on social media. I know it seems selfish but i’m so lonely that I get so sad when I see people together. I wish I didn’t feel this way but I can’t help it. I want to be happy for them but I can’t be and that’s the worst part about it. I can’t even say anything to them because I don’t want them to have the sensor their relationship just because I’m sad.
I had my first kiss a year and one day ago at the age of 17. It was with the girl I had the biggest crush on in 8th grade through highschool. We were just friends but she let me kiss her, and now we don’t even speak. I miss her sometimes even though she just kind of stopped talking to me.
I’m dependent on my boyfriend for income and we live together in our house. I love him but I’m so unhappy. I don’t know what to do anymore. I try to just forget how I feel and be positive about everything but it’s so hard to shove all of my feelings to the back of my mind. When I do say how I feel I end up being the bad guy because I get so angry and frustrated or I break down into a sobbing mess. When the ladder happens he apologizes and promises to change but then nothing ever does. It’s not like all of the things he does separately are deal breakers but when you lump it all together it just feels like so much and I can’t can’t handle it. I am so lost and hurting and there’s nothing I can really do about it
#relationships #struggle #dependent #heartbreak #love #alone
I cheated on my boyfriend of three years with my old co-worker/friend while we were drunk. I wish I could take it back - for the sake of my relationship and friendship.
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