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George Carlin

Read through the most famous quotes from George Carlin




Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.


— George Carlin


#humor

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.


— George Carlin


#humor

When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.


— George Carlin


#humour #care

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?


— George Carlin


#kill

What year did Jesus think it was?


— George Carlin


#humor #jesus-christ #religion #time #humor

A good motto to live by: "Always try not to get killed.


— George Carlin


#kill

THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police.


— George Carlin


#humor #sex #humor

And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.


— George Carlin


#nature

I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.


— George Carlin


#humor #philosophy #subjectivity #humor

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?


— George Carlin


#humor






About George Carlin

George Carlin Quotes




Did you know about George Carlin?

He was stationed at Barksdale Air Force Base in Bossier City Louisiana. Carlin continued doing HBO specials every year or every other year over the following decade and a half. After a poorly received set filled with dark.

The first of his 14 stand-up comedy specials for HBO was filmed in 1977. Supreme Court case F. His final HBO special It's Bad for Ya was filmed less than four months before his death.

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