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In my early youth I played around with the older boy next door. He was the top and I was the bottom. I really enjoyed being the bottom, penetration was always something I wanted to do, but I also enjoyed giving oral sex and showing him that I wanted to please him. We got caught by my older brother, he had just returned from overseas. He broke it up, but never stopped calling me queer, sissy, fairy, faggot, etc.
I spent my life doing the right thing, building a business, and keeping a wife and having a family. From time to time, I would run into to someone that I found out was gay and if he was a top I pursued the relationship and spent some time with him, always the bottom and pleasing him made me feel good.
My wife decided on her own to get divorced once our children were grown and she lives in North Carolina. I moved to Southern California after selling my business and settled down in the San Diego area. I met a man here, a big man, macho man, who prefers a sissy boy sucking his cock and spreading his cheeks for him. I also do the laundry and the cooking and cleaning. I love taking care of the house, shopping for groceries, decorating and wearing panties for him. I have my money but I let him take care of me, spend, spend, spend on me. I can be the wife I have always wanted to be. I can be that sissy, faggot, queer, fairy my brother called me.
It's been over a year and three months since the last time we talk, but every day I think of him if he is alive or okay because I know he has been kicked out of house and lives on the streets. Like our story is so complicated and hard but I can't stop thinking about him and I don't know why like every guy I ever talk to my stupid brain and heart keep comparing them to the guy who I love so much and broke my heart. Part of me wants to contact him so badly like I did contact him to have closure but he thought I had closure of him and I thought the same way but I guess now because deep down inside of me my heart wants him. So my question is should I contact him again even though the last time we talk I tried to get closure....
Good & evil. I’ve always been a light in the world. My sister evil. As a kid I saved her life. I watch her do evil her entire life. Including against me.
Late in life I thought maybe she’s changed. But I inverted her closely. No. She’s still pure evil. She’s just an expert at hiding it now.
It goes against my nature to harm others or wish ill upon them. If my saving her life just meant all the harm she caused me I’d accept it as bearing a cross for my faith. But she has caused great harm to many.
The thing is; she’s normal. No disabilities. Attractive. Athletic. Smart. Popular. Very normal. Ease getting jobs. Everything comes easy for her. Everyone likes her. Everything goes her way. Both of our parents protected her & spoiled her rotten. She was given things of great value. A free home. Her college paid for. Free cars. Free land.
She grew up wearing the best clothes & going everywhere. She was their princess.
She even went to Church. Had the Bible taught to her. Oh she can quote scripture. Excellent grades. Beauty pageants. Won sports. All the boys asked her out. All the popular girls liked her. The teachers loved her. She was in all the clubs. In the plays. Band. I even saw her in the paper a few times. To this day people bend over backwards to kiss her butt.
Yet when i study her closely, she is still doing evil. I don’t think evil people can change themselves. I don’t think they want to change. I think they enjoy harming as many innocents as they can. They emotionally feed off the pain they cause.
As bad as it sounds, I probably should have walked away when she was dying. Instead I saved her.
This is a messed up world. I know a very sweet young disabled man who has been tormented by mean people so much he won’t even leave his house. He doesn’t realize if he doesn’t one day he will be homeless when his parents are gone. Both are very sick. He looked promising, then a nasty person messed up his parents happy marriage.
I know a very sweet woman who is a light in this world. She is dying. Her world falling apart. So sad.
Yet I also know my sorry sister. Healthy as a horse. No matter what happens in the world it all comes up roses for her. Maybe evil people do have a deal with the devil. I think it’s more that evil people look out for each other, & gang up on good people.
I think it’s as simple as good people are just outnumbered by the really bad people. And everyone else just ignores it.
Think about that the next time you watch a video where a group of nasty people are attacking one innocent, & everyone else just passes by. I guess they are just glad it’s not them.
Is that all humans are? A few kind people sorted out of the herd; slowly or quickly destroyed by evil people. Everyone else just strolling by, glad it’s. Or them.
Yeah. I know a secret about my evil sister. I saw her reading some books. She acted like they are women’s books. Instead; they are about a good person fighting an evil person and his underlines.
See I’ve read the books too. I’m loved by God. I’m a source of good in this world. But she secretly is the evil these books are written about. She walks in this world acting so nice. But she’s really doing evil. Trying to get others to do evil.
She enjoys all the pain she causes. She either uses you, or works against you. She can’t help it, her soul is dark & evil. Why did I save her?
Weird thing. She has one kid who is very kind. One that’s nasty, but not evil.
This world God made is so F’d up.
I’ve saved several lives. I tried to track one down once. I wanted to believe my heroics had made the world a better place. I found a guy who cheated on his wife; stole from his disabled relative, but was a pretty good dad to his surprisingly good kids. I call that a win.
Oh. I peed on my sisters hair brush. Dried it on her hand towel. I did it cause I saw her lying on a disabled person, then try to make people mad at the person. It felt good to pee on her hairbrush. Meaningless. But she caused a kind disabled person grief. She loves her hair. It is nice hair. So I think it’s funny. One of the meanest things I’ve ever done.
You know why I did it? In school I watched her poor pee in a disabled kids drink. Her & her popular friends watched the younger kid drink it. I later saw her & her friends kiss some football players if they’d harass that boy. They beat him up while everyone laughed. She was so proud of herself. I may go pee on her hair brush again since life has temporarily put her back in my life.
I wonder where she keeps her toothbrush. I don’t know. Is that too much? We used to have a handicapped neighbor. She paid a boy to beat the kid up. She would stick his tooth brush in the toilet. She deserves it. But I’m too nice for that. I think that’s why they win. They pick easy targets no one cares about. We good people will only go so far because we don’t want to be like them.
I just have never been a serious relationship and have always wanted to I really want someone to genuinely love me so I have romantic scenes playing in my head like all the time
do you know that you have 2 invisible diaries that go where ever you go?
their names are
god and jesus
talk to them every day and every night
confess everything even embarrassing experiences they are always listening
if you do not wanna confess around people who can hear
do it in private like i do
an earthy diary cannot hear you, but they can hear you. an earthy diary cannot answer you, but they can answer you. an earthy diary cannot save you from hell but they can save you
before i became a christian i use to confess everything to diaries until one day it was stolen and my neighbors from georgia got all my confessions and disturbing fiction i was horrified but soon after that i discovered god and jesus and now i don't buy earthy diary's anymore or confess to them i confess everything ive done to god and his son during prayer and i ask their forgiveness
prayer is your diary and god is always listening
prayer is a much better diary because it cannot be stolen or read by other humans only god and jesus will know what you have done and your secrets will always remain secret
I also want to come out to my parents but I’m still questioning I am bisexual but I just don’t know how to tell my parents.
I am a sissy male and enjoy it immensely. I dream of finding a tall dark and handsome Man and he loves me for the sissy I am. He asks me to marry him and I say YES. I am his wife and lay curled up next to my Man every night playing with his Big Man Cock.. I m his wife and take care of him doing what I wife needs to do for her man. He treats me like the sissy cock slut I am and keeps me dressed like a whore. This is the life I want to live.
Sissy Boy C.
I used to try to save lives in different ways. I did save some. But the ones I lost haunt me. Oh I know I did my best. I’ve had people crying & thanking me. I know I made a difference in the world.
But I failed the 4 people I love with all I am. I couldn’t help it. I have a disease. I fought the disease. But it beat me. Oh I know now all the things I did wrong. But I couldn’t see it then.
It’s so funny. Some children think I’m the greatest man in the world that’s not their dad. But I have to struggle to be that. I’m so sick. It’s hard willing myself to endure the pain everyday. I keep saying my loved ones need me.
I hate myself. I hate everything about me. I can see no good in me. But I know others need me. That will just have to be enough.
From the time I first read about golden showers, I had to give it a try. My girlfriend cooperated a couple of times but she was inhibited and those two times were the end for her. No one else could be convinced to give it a try. I even tried to get a couple of male friends to participate and promised no gay sexual contact but again no luck.
Finally I decided to go solo. I drank a couple of beers, lay down in my bathtub with my legs up high and peed on my face, chest, hair, and in my mouth. A good first effort but I decided I needed more pee in my mouth. So I rigged up a funnel with clear plastic tubing 18 inches long. I peed in the large mouth of the funnel, the pee went through the tubing into my mouth, and I spit my pee into a measuring cup.
In succeeding sessions, I increased my pee recycling from one cup, to a cup and a half, and finally a full 2 cups. If I swallowed half my pee, I kept my bladder full and didn't need to wait on an empty bladder or continue drinking fluids. Of course the more pee I cycled through my body, the darker gold my pee became and the saltier and stronger the taste.
It was an interesting experiment which I occasionally repeat. But there are so many interesting perversions I like to keep trying new things.
#pee
I am obsessed with female clothing. Yes, I am a closet cross dresser. My girlfriend knows nothing about my cross dressing. We had an argument so I left and went into the city which is fours away. Taking one of my slutty cross dressing outfits with me. I had a room and decided to finally go out in public like the sissy slut I have always wanted to be. I went to a bar and was hit on right away. I hooked up with the guy and ended up back at his place. When he took his close off he had the biggest cock I had ever seen. I felt a strong sensation to suck it. He walked over to me and stood with his big cock inches from my face. I picked the semi erect mammoth and with out hesitation started sucking on it as if my life depended upon it.
When he had me straddle his cock so he could take my virginity. He also stroked my little sissy cock at the same time as I humped his cock. When he climaxed so did I in the most mind shattering orgasm I ever have had. I spent the night with him and found it hard to leave the next day. I want to be with him more than my girlfriend so I broke up with her. Looking forward to visiting my new lover and his wonderful cock.
I have cross dressed since the age of ten. I still do in privet, now days. I have always wished I had transitioned to female when I got out of high school or by the age of thirty. Then find a hansom Man with a large Cock to marry me for life. I would be his wife and service his every need. CK
I live in a country where the state provides financial help for the poorer people. I receive such help but not because I am not able to work but because I don't want to. I live from the taxation of other people and it's the best!
#fraud #government #state #help #money #financial #taxation #confession #sin
This year I turn 20 ..I feel like useless.. Before this I m so stupid n lazy to study but since 17 I decided to change. I want better life.. People keep treat me like asshole just because I m not like my brother.. He so clever as fuck but me.. I desperate want to change, want have better life and got many money. Sometimes when I watch youtube, I see a lot of people show off how rich their are.. I m so fucking jealous... This year I wish I can continue my study diploma but since my family got money problem, I have to forget my diploma... I have certificate in computer system.. I really want to create something that can make money... I want to have my own shop or my own brand... I really like to create earphone or headphone... If I can't get all of that, at least I can work at good company, at least IT company.. I know it's hard for me since many people out there clever than me but I can gibe the best I can. I swear....! I want work at Google company.... I wish I can!
I have been doing penance hard. I had a dream not so long ago that I moved to a older style nice home and I was in the bedroom and it reminded me of childhood and I had all my clothes and I said to my mother, "its like childhood but things will be alright now"! I was happy. How could this happen. I need the money to come.
In 3 years of relationship I cheated on my girlfriend 7 times. She didn't know anything about it but now she left me for another men.
Please God, forgive me and her for our sins.
#sins #god #forgive #relationship #cheating
I have a secret that I find embarrassing to talk about and feel ashamed when I think about it but I get so aroused just thinking about it! From a young age I wet the bed and even now it occasionally happens but I believe this has caused me to develop a fetish for urination. I have tried to block it out but it's always in the back of my mind and I get really turned on when I'm home alone and desperate for the toilet. I've never been comfortable to talk about this but for some reason I don't mind sharing it with the world.
Is it normal to have these thoughts and urges to want to be humiliated and peed on? I'd just love to know how common it is and if people have been able to tell their partners and enjoy this fetish together? I don't want to feel like I should shy away from it any more. I feel so nervous writing this but in a weird way find it quite erotic that people will read it.
I'm also worried about my desire to put on women's underwear at the same time I need to pee. I want to share and hopefully find some answers and other people to talk to that share this sexual desire. Just for reference I'm a 27 year old male. I hope I'm not a complete freak of nature lol
#peeing #pissing #watersports #goldenshower #humiliation #dominating #pee #piss #urine #strange
I'm a 19 year old girl who has developed an really weird desire to remove her legs. I just feel disgusting walking around with those stumps of flesh. I want to feel perfect, so a few years back I tried to cut my thigh open with a hacksaw but it went really badly and I had to go to hospital. I've changed my methods now, and I inject faeces and porridge oats into a flesh wound in my leg so it will go gangrenous so it can be cut off. Then I can be perfect. I feel ill, am I ok?
#mutilation #gore #girl
I am home alone all weekend what should I do??? Sexual and Non sexual ideas please.
#homealone #nude #nsfw #cum #incest #horny #jerkoff #jerkingoff #porn #masturbate #masturbating #masturbation #cumming
I (f15) and my boyfriend (m15) were hanging out and we made out and he got a boner and then he said "wanna give me a bj" i didn't want to but i didn't wanna say no so i gave him a bj and then after he fingered me and i got really nervous so i puked on the bed and it was his parents bed oops
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