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I need someone to talk to. But I have no one to turn to. It is eating me up alive and I am spiralling.
#talk #confession #depressed #noone
Female, 18.
My biggest wish is to get a farm one day with cows and pigs and chicken and all the animals which belong on a farm. But when I am talking to my family about it they laugh at me and force me to go to university and study economics. I now go to university but I study agriculture but I don't tell them anything about it, they wouldn't understand.
#farm #wish #animals #university #economics #agriculture #study #confession #lie
i really am a big snob. i love to save my money. i want a middle class house, i want a middle class wife and 2 middle class children. i love to drive a smaller car though i could buy a bigger one.
long live the babbittry!
I love you more than anything or anyone. I want to be with you every second of every day. I want you to be happy, for me to be happy. I wish you could see it the same way I see it. I’m sorry I hurt you. I did not desert you. I’m not crazy. But I may think you are. I really love or loved you more than anything in the world. I’m sorry you had to say Goodbye.
What do you think... is it ok to lie to a person that is dying? That is a question I get to ask myself over and over again for the last 3 years. My Dad was very sick. I do not want to say too much about it to protect my identity, but after his diagnosis, we knew that he did not have much time left. He needed a kidney transplant and he needed one fast.
My sister and I immediately went to the doctors to see if we were a match and could save his life by giving him one of our kidneys.
I remember that my sister's appointment was on a Tuesday, mine was following the next day on Wednesday.
Here comes the horrible part... I never went to my appointment. I was drinking and partying the night before and overslept. It was such a terrible, horrible and terrifying time and I used to get my mind off things by doing a lot of wrong stuff with a lot of wrong people.
I woke up in a haze on Thursday afternoon to a frantic phone call from my sister telling me that she was no match. She was crying hysterically and beyond reasoning. I still remember that moment. I could have said that I forgot my appointment and that I would make another one. But a lot of other stuff happened before (I do not want to talk about it in detail), that I was ashamed to admit it. In this moment, I was certain, if my sister was not a match, I would not be one either.
So, I lied. I said I WAS at the appointment and that I also was not able to donate.
In that moment I really believed that the universe would not be so sadistic and evil as to let my kind and good father die because of his terrible excuse of a daughter.
Well, he lived for 3 more months. They were not able to find a match or a donor in time. And I will never know if I could have saved his life.
#father #dying #donor #match #lying #lie #horrible #death #confession #ashamed
Paranoia. I once had a near death medical incident. Took a meds. Odd reaction. For a while I was paranoid. Then I went off the med and it passed.
But sometimes it tries to return. I learned to ignore it. For instance, sometimes I think people in my house are talking about me. Going thru my stuff. Even conspiring against me in a sense. So I recorded what they were saying. Listened when I was very calm and happy.
Sometimes they are saying hateful things about me. Sometimes they are mocking me. Sometimes one of them is trying to manipulate the others so together they can get their way and bulldoze me. So that’s not paranoia.
However; other things I recorded when my mind wondered are they talking about me, they were not.
In life most everyone is mentally disturbed to some level. Most everyone’s main focus is themself. They desire control. Seek a way to get control over others. To influence others. Not for bad per sa. If I’m nice people will be nice to me. If I look hot that cute person will date me because I want to be touched by them. You get it?
So in my case, I’ve spent my life around people who conspire together against others. It’s quite ridiculous, but think of gangs. Gang members are really cowards. Too afraid to stand up alone. But I’m a pack they have the power. 5 gang bangers together are not afraid of a frail old person. Give them guns and they will even take on a small healthy man. For me they’d want a tank or two.
Watch shark fest. I’m like an orca. I know I own the seas. I walk thru the world unafraid. Sure a nuclear sub could take me on. But other than that I’m all good. But most humans are like those little gray sharks. They need to form a pack to have real power.
This is why you’ll see really scared people walking with dogs. The nice scared people have labs. The mean scared people have pit bulls.
Stay away from any human who owns a pit bull. They may go violent on you for no reason one day.
See. Humans are a lot like animals. If you accept that parts of you function like an animal; but realize you have a conscious mind, then you can control false thoughts.
Thus; if you are feeling paranoid, that’s a basic survival skill. Zebras eat, but they watch for lions. Lions are always there. But lions suddenly spring out of the grass. They chase whichever they’ve picked. If it’s a group they zig and zag. The one that stumbles or goes the wrong way is eaten.
So your paranoid for a reason. But you have to accept in life there’s a certain level of danger. We all start to die the moment we are born. It’s a certainty. The absolute Ready Player One game. This game plays for keeps. Game over is game over forever here.
So I always wonder as the scared person on the walking trail with 5 dogs walks by, why not just buy a treadmill or join a gym?
The question is do you want to spend your entire life living in fear? Or do you want to live. Bad neighborhood? Try to save up and move. Not always an option. So stay indoors as much as possible.
Here’s something that boggles the mind. We need a border wall. The drugs coming across puts a lot of people in a grave. The drugs provide the wealth for gang leaders to form a gang. Then they branch out. Extortion, breaking into homes and cars. Rape. Intimidation. Random violence.
Take away those illegal drugs, and the gangs dry up. Poor people can control their streets again.
But some cities need new poor people to keep gov money coming in. To keep all their senate seats. Some companies and people want cheap labor.
Some people just feel compassion. Like for those unaccompanied children stumbling around.
So we get this. Drugs. Gangs.
Why not build the wall. But ask cities and states if they want illegals. If they do have buses waiting. Send them to airports. Funnel them into those systems. In this way, everyone is happy.
If you live in Iowa why do you care if Michigan wants a bunch of illegals? That’s like the distance of Spain from Norway. Just stay in Iowa and live your life. If those people in California bother you so much, don’t go there.
Compromise. Good people with money and resources to spare helping people who need help. Other people who don’t want to be involved left out of it. Inner city people able to walk to parks without the gangs. Kids not joining gangs out of fear. Teens not over dosing. Children not watching their parents over dosing. Isn’t that a better way than what we have now?
Don’t let your fear cause paranoia that overwhelms your life. A life of complete fear isn’t much of a life. But if that’s all you have, keep living it. Just make the best of whatever life you have. We are all trapped in our own skins.
Time for me to go back to being funny and obnoxious. I rarely let people see the real me. I like to hide behind an illusion.
TRDP
#paranoia #fear #survival #trdp #wall #border #hope #pitbull
I am so sorry for I have sinned.
There are 4 different types of plants on my window sill and I did not water them enough. They are all totally dried up now and I feel so guilty. Friends of mine addressed it a few days ago and since then I feel like a murderer. I saw that they needed water, but I did not give it to them. But I am also too lazy now to throw them away.
My wife had a company party and the motto was quiz show. There was even a quiz like the one "Who wants to be a millionaire?" and they even had telephone jokers. If she would have won, she would have gotten a week off and 500 pounds extra cash.
I was her telephone joker and she called me on the last question, if she would have known that, she would have won.
I told her the wrong answer because I don't want her to be at home that much.
She's annoying from time to time.
My cousin is a year older than I. I believe it was right before we entered our teenage years. She and I were very close growing up. Well, one day we were over at our grandparents house as our families would get together on the weekends often. We would always go into the same bedroom and just hang out and come up with different games. On this day we decided to play “doctor”. I was the patient first and I pulled down my pants and underwear exposing my cock. She just blushed and stared in awe. Guessing this was the first time she saw a penis of a guy her own age. So during the examination she would take a hold of my penis and start to squeeze and jerk it a little. That’s when the pre-cum starting coming out. She looked at it and asked what that was. I said I don’t know but it feels good. She said ok and that was that. Then it was her turn to be the patient and she dropped her pants and panties and lifted her shirt. No bra at that point. I started my exam with feeling her tiny breasts and work my way down to her special spot. I remember it being completely bald. Then I opened her pussy lips and looked inside. I asked her if I could stick a finger in. She said ok. My finger just slid right in as she was sopping wet. She let out a little Yelp and sigh when my finger went in. She said it felt weird but good. She asked me to keep going so I did. I fingered her in and out until I heard her breathing hard. I asked if she was ok. She said she was and to not stop. I kept going until her backed arched, her whole body shivering and her face flushed. After she regained her composure, she looked at me with a big smile and said, “we need to play doctor more often!” Unfortunately that was the one and only time we did it. As soon as the teenage years hit, boyfriends and girlfriends started entering the picture. Hope you enjoyed this.
I got a raise a few months ago and I bought a very (and I mean VERY) expensive bottle of wine. Because I can, why not?
Anyway that is not the issue.. I am married and we are very good friends with this other couple. We meet like every other week to go on double dates or meet for game nights. We invited the other couple a few weeks ago and we played board games. As the husband is a wine lover, he noticed the expensive bottle standing in our wine rack. While playing he Monopoly, he suddenly had the briliant idea that the winner would get the wine.
HELL NO! That was so fucking expensive, you dipshit!!
I disagreed, but told them that I would bring the bottle to our next game night.
Game night was yesterday and before we met up, the husband called to make sure that I'd bring the wine.
I would like to confess that I (of course) did not bring MY VERY EXPENSIVE bottle of wine to a stupid game night. I opened the bottle, decanted the wine and poured some really cheap wine into the bottle of the expensive one.
I was so curious to see what'd happen when the self-proclaimed "wine connoisseur" tasted the cheapp booze. Well, as you can guess, he thought it was THE BEST THING HE EVER DRANK. HaHaHaHaHaHa
No one noticed a difference, not even my wife and I am not going to tell her because she was gushing about how generous I was to share this expensive wine with her and our friends. If only she knew...
#wine #cheap #expensive #bottle #sharing #notsharing #couple #lie
Ive been seeing a guy for about 2-2.5 months now, he barely gives me any attention but the sex is great.
Since i got "together" with him i have slept with 3 different guys, 2 being exes.
I was always so against cheating but i just need that attention and love like i get from my exes.
I know his sleeping with other girls but i just cant seem to end it with him.
My brothers friends, I've felt them all, their hard cocks while they sleep. Then I felt the greatest one and we did the whole 9 yards. It was my freshman summer and my brothers friend, J, was meaty but not fat, not muscular but not skinny. He was thick. He always acted gay and did gay things like put his under wet like a thong and slapped my ass. Until one night we finally got to sleep next to eachother...I pretended to be asleep but I woke up to a hand rubbing in my underwear and on my ass. Not even 30 seconds after I woke up he was spitting on his dick and shoving it in my right hole. I was asleep but I savored every second of that fat Latino cock in my ass. I was moaning but he had his hand over my mouth so my brother wouldn't hear me. I was taking that dick so good. He then layed down and shoved my head under the blankets, I sucked his cock and spit all over that dick. He push my head down and arched his back up while he shot a fat load in my mouth. I swallowed the whole thing. He turned around and act like it never happened and went back to sleep. We did this for a couple months until my brother and him started drifting. I miss him always making me laugh and flirting with me. And I miss his daddy dick the most.
For work, I always have a lot of research to do. And this means that I often have to work at home (later, at night for example).
But I'm just too lazy. So I got my son to do it. He gets 10 bucks each time he "helps" me.
I can get to bed earlier and he gets some extra money. He's always a bit tired though and his grades in school aren't that good as in the beginning of the year but I guess that's not too bad.
#lazy #confession #work #son #secret #anonymously #research #night #tired
My stepmother gave me a vibrator. I'm only 13 and wasn't sure what to think. Why, did she give me this? Well the weird part, maybe a month later she asked how I liked it. I thought it was a private thing, so I just smiled and said it was too noisy. Then she continues on telling me not to worry and wants to know if I need a demonstration. What? I kind of want to tell my dad, but I don't want to rock the boat. I have known this lady 5 years and never expected she would do this. Did she want to use it on me or have me watch her use it? Before I try it, she will not be home and my door will be locked. How can I relax and try it?
#stepmother #vibrator #noisy #private #shocked #confused #weird
I still can't fully forgive my dad for the way he acted when I came out, it still haunts me and I try to act like nothing is wrong, this is killing me.
What is it with some of these big super stores. They have nothing but self scan lines open. I have health issues. So I had to scan like 200 items myself & stick on a tiny area. And bag them. With like 8 employees watching everyone bag their own stuff. 14-15 items. Fine. Giant buggies. That’s BS. I’m in mask & shield. Trouble breathing. Hard to hold stuff. Yet the store puts me to work. Where’s my pay check?
Most of my roommates are young females. I’m an older male. No; I’m not chasing after them. But the other day I had a weird moment.
I drive the speed limit and very carefully. I’m very polite. A large truck suddenly sped behind me. Accelerated over and over. Nearly hitting me. Swerved at me. I kept slowing on this winding rural mountain road in the dark. I finally stopped. Waited for a fight.
I’m very polite. But I’m a highly trained bad mother. The person suddenly accelerated. Nearly wrecked as they took off & slid into the ditch in the rain. I just moved slowly and watched. Log trucks fly around these blind roads. So you don’t want to loiter.
Anyways. My roommates were talking about the feud they have going with some other people. Something about a dog bit a kid. I don’t know. Interesting thing. They warned me not to shop here for a while. Asked where I get gas. Described a truck. Yes. Same truck.
Well. I’m a very large martial artists. Also trained by vets. I don’t scare easy.
I get someone is mad their dog was put down like 2 yrs ago or something. But I didn’t even live here. Don’t bring that crazy mess to me.
The world is full of bar Chit crazy people.
So anyways. My ex called me. I’d been visiting them. Now I’m sick. She said can I bring our kids up in the mountain to see you. No.
Being a mountain man and cowboy I don’t want to judge my own. But who the F runs someone not even in a situation off a mountain road over a dang dog? Humans have souls. Animals don’t mean crap. Oh I love them. I’ve donated to save endangered species. But I’d never harm someone over one.
You try to live in peace. Get sucked into crazy stuff.
Oh well. I’ll change my time. Turn on that training my special forces dad and vet uncles drilled into me. Hope they leave me alone.
I did laugh though. When you randomly chose to F with somebody you never met. It might be a Church mouse. It might be a 250 lb SOB. I’m both. You just never know. My roommates were worried for me. I started laughing. What was that movie. Not Rambo. Where the crazy hillbillies messed with a nice guy? Let’s hope it doesn’t get to that. Pushed to the brink. Hill billy heck.
Nah. I’ll just film their butts and call the po po if they keep it up. See if they like the color orange. Good show.
I’ll just change when I leave and come. Watch out for them. Hope I can avoid future crap.
I taught my kids to just exit into well lit busy place. Let crazies mess with next person in traffic. That doesn’t work so well on narrow winding mountain roads.
I was jumped by 3 women and robbed. But I’m way to embarrassed to tell anybody including police. I was walking alone in a park just to get some fresh air. I don’t even live in a bad area. First it was just 1 girl who approached me. She asked if she could use my phone, I pulled my phone out to unlock it when I was hit right in the face from behind. I don’t remember it all but I remember falling down and then feeling them kick me in the head. At one point everything went all black. I kinda came to and I was so confused. Two of them were kinda holding me down reaching in my pockets, and then 1 made me tell her my phone password. They took my phone and wallet which had 300 bucks inside. Then they just beat me again. Punches kicks, but I couldn’t block my face because they would have 1 girl hold my arm. They left after I stopped moving. I limped home and thankfully I wasn’t injured severely, just bumps and a black eye. I’m not a big guy which is why I guess they targeted me. But to have to tell someone you were knocked out and robbed by females is just to embarrassing for me.
#theft #knockedout #beaten #girls #robbed
I’m soooo torn. Part of me wants to watch my girlfriend get a huge dick inside her and to watch her moan and cum on a guys dick. But another part of me never wants her to be touched by another guy again. I know if I gave her permission she would probably think about it because I was her first and only sex. But I would just love the idea of her getting her guts rearranged by some random dudes huge cock as her eyes roll back and her toes curl up. Just the thought her trying to hold back moans as she gets her pussy stretched gets me so hard. I want her to kiss other guys and suck them and then take there ducks inside her. Her pussy feels so good it’s be wrong to hog it all myself.
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