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In highschool I was a loser. But one day while I was eating lunch in some corner this cute girl asked if she could sit with me. We talked and exchanged numbers. We then texted all the time. It was so cool and I was really liking her. I would get butterflies when I’d see her messages. She asked me to meet her at her house one day to watch movies. I showed up and all her friends were there and they all started laughing at me and calling me names. I went home so upset and asked her why she did this and she said she bet her friend she could get the “weird” kid to like her. Flash forward 10 years and her mom works for me and tells me how miserable her daughters life is and how she has no job. I asked her mom if she wanted I’d hire her daughter. That’s going to be real fun if it happens. Her mom has no clue what happened between us either.
I'm 26 and all I've ever known was sex. The only relationship I've ever had was 3 months long. I lie about my past. I've never been in love and no one has ever been in love with me. But ever since I remember myself that's all I ever wanted. I don't know where I went wrong... Sometimes I'm scared that I'll never find love and I'll end up alone.
#lie #relationships #love #sex
I advertised in the days of 'contact magazines' as follows: Healthy single male, financially secure, seeks long-term/permanent relationship with incredibly dominant "controlling bitch" who is horny to the point of clinical nymphomania, insatiable, demanding, selfish, cruel, greedy, foul-tempered, abusive, and above all likes her man tied up most of the time, in a state of constant humiliation, and sensory deprivation. Erotic asphyxia, breath-play, extreme mind-games, a plus. Lot to offer right lady, so check it out, let's talk, negotiate, compromise, whatever! Almost anything goes. Tell me what you REALLY want - I might just be able to give it to you!" One reply in particular led to a meeting, at a late-night Denny's. She was quite unremarkable to look at, just a pleasant ordinary woman you'd never look twice at, which surprised me somewhat. After we'd eaten, I said "I'll cut to the chase. Tell me what you think of this!" and handed her a photograph. She examined it closely, and asked in a normal tone of voice "Is this you?" I admitted it was. "And this is what you're looking for, mainly?" Again I admitted it. "Any more pictures?" she asked. I produced a bunch of them, which she leafed through, slowly, studying them all closely. "Okay, I get the picture. Now let me tell you about me! I am just turned fifty, never married, have never had anything other than an abusive relationship with a man, which soured me on men, as you'd imagine! Unfortunately I have very compelling needs, pretty c;lose, I'm sure, to what they call "nymphomania"! The only way I can bear to be intimate with a man, is if he is so thoroughly helpless that he does not present the slightest threat to me, and yet is available for my use, 100%! You with me so far? Good! I am a pretty unpleasant woman, probably, all the things you specified, and more! I am a sadist, and I really get off on scaring men, making them believe I'm going to really hurt them, or even kill them. I'm so good at it, I can produce a sniveling wreck of a man, begging, pleading, groveling! I REALLY get off on that! Am I scaring you? I should be!" "No, actually, you're getting me horny! I think I want to marry you, already!" I said, truthfully. She laughed, and said "Nobody is that stupid! But tell me how this would work, assuming we give it a go...: I said "I have a big old house, live there alone, and would love some company, especially with your kind of personality!" She sighed "Let's get something straight - I am an unloved, unloving, heartless bitch, lacking in affection, or any of the 'milk of human kindness' like that! I would use and abuse you, ride you hard and put you away wet, speaking not altogether metaphorically. You would end up a prisoner in your own house, made to do all the housework, and all the cooking, as I am fundamentally lazy. I love your pictures and would bring them to life, 24/7/365. Your entire existence would be devoted to serving and pleasing me, and I would be very demanding, and hard to please. You would come to fear me, maybe even hate me, and there would be nothing you could do about it! One way street, mister, no turning back, no escape. Ever! Unless I get tired of you, and even I don't know what would happen then! Oh, and one final thing, maybe a deal-breaker - I have a brother who had a serious head-injury, and he's pretty slow, and pretty strange! All he wants to do is play with another man's goodies, pretty much endlessly, unless I make him stop! Which I wouldn't, very often. He won't even stop if you come! The ultimate in single-mindedness, I guess! So you'd be faced with that! Sooner or later he will remember what it's like having his cock sucked, and then he'll want to do that all the time too! So, you can't say I didn't warn you! You can get up and leave now....if you don't, you will obey me, instantly and completely, from this moment on, or I will make note of it, and punish you, once you're helpless! You will not speak to me, unbidden, but you may say once only "permission to speak, Ma'am" which I may or may not agree to. When I tell you to "be silent" that means complete silence until revoked. Any infringement will lead to a punishment which will ensure your obedience in the future! Now, leave, or stay! Your choice!"
I have been in a 3 year relationship with a guy who has cheated on me 2 times during the first year of our relationship. When caught the first time, he swore he wouldn't again and I believed him. Two months later, I found out he was cheating on me yet again. He convinced me to stay with him and I tried my best to get over it. I truly believe that he has changed and would never cheat on me again, but I still resent him so much. I've never had great self esteem or confidence in myself as a woman, so him cheating really destroyed me. I know I am a physically attractive girl so the thought that goes through my head is "it must be my personality" and that hurts me so much more. This has caused me to become extremely depressed and suicidal at times.
Recently, I have been fighting the urge to cheat just so he knows how it feels. I know that is extremely spiteful, but I want him to know the damage he has done to my confidence. I don't want to cheat out of a desire for sex like he did, I just want him hurt. I'm sure I won't end up cheating because I am a good person, but the thought of him experiencing the same pain he inflicted is tempting.
I went to a mental hospital 10 days ago and today i just got discharged. There was a guy there that i kinda had a relationship with and i feel like dick because i have a girlfriend and I’ve been dating her for 4 months. I think i might break up with her tho
This probably the last place i wanted to say my mind. Im girl who is already 18 has no experience whatsoever its so shitty. I have lived in a strict household all through my life i have attended only girls private schools from elementary to high school which were all catholic. I was so happy to finally go to College then they gave me a gap year then when i finally go to college the Corona comes. Im the best definition of a virgin i Have never kissed a guy i still do not believe that still possible. I have many guys who are just friends even sneak out to go out but I come back a virgin. I dont even know whether im looking for a relationship or idk. Im open for any opinions...
I have a crush at you but you didn't ever know that i exist how long should i wait for you hm? hope u can see me KTH.
Sometimes people just want to be kissed romantically underneath the night sky full of stars in Paris under the glow of the Eiffel Tower on a beautiful autumn night.
I'm in love with someone 17 years older than me. I'm 15 and he's 32. He has confessed to having some sort of feelings for me. I can't stop thinking about him, and i know I shouldn't have these feelings, but I do.
I am in a serious relationship for two years and recently ı started to fancy someone else. I love my partner with my whole heart and ı dont want to end or damage my relationship with him. But ı cant seem to stop looking at my friend differently. We are not so close but we started to spend more time together recently. I feel so happy around him. He makes me laugh. He is not my type but there is something different about him. I told my friends about how I feel and they guessed who ı was talking about before ı even told them. They said that he acts close to me as well. They said that he sometimes flirts with me. I felt that before too but I wasnt quite sure. But he acts so cold to me sometimes and then comes and flirts with me. I feel so guilty for liking him. I told my boyfriend that ı liked being around him as a friend. But I know it is a little more than that. I dont know what to do. And also he has a girlfriend too. I cant stop thinking about him. He acts like he feels the same about me but then he acts like he doesnt know me. I am clear that ı dont want to risk my relationship but I cant seem to Shake this feeling of me.
When my fiance died, I was 26. We had been best friends since age 10 and did not start dating until I was 20 and in college. Considering how abusive my stepfather and mothers marriage was, my fiance always consistently made me feel safe and was very much a shelter in the storm. Reliable and protective in a way that I never had to worry about anything. I was very naieve to how much my fiance was worth or that they were one of the top ten wealthiest families in America. I've met people with money but never anyone so generous towards me: emotionally, physically, financially, sexually. Would go to pay a bill for a class or utility bill and it had already been paid. It is rare to meet anyone who 'sees your need, and meets your need,' without even having to ask. Why ask anyone to buy you yellow roses? If the intention or initative is not there to show someone love and kindness what is the point. People should go the distance to show you love, and you should go the distance for others. It creates a mutual reciprocity, a flow.
My fiances death, was interpreted by my body as hearthreaking pneumonia over the loss of my 16 year companion. For 5 years in a row I continued to catch pneumonia on the day that my fiance died like clockwork. Until I found out from working with a group of monks to heal in the mountains of San Francisco I had to face a deep grief known as survivors guilt for still being alive. After that, I never caught pneumonia again.
Fast forward to the pandemic and a man from mainland China comes off the plane directly into our spa in Jan of 2020, the owner who never gets sick, like once every 4 years went down like the titanic. Then I went down for two weeks but recovered quickly. In the process the blood banks were having shortages and offered to pay me $100 a pint because a lab out of State wanted to use my juice for making serum for cancer and transplant patients. Without blood donations or the serum neither can get treatment or transplants and die. The irony, the loss of a great love and all those years of being sick in fact made me immune to CoVid. Who knew God had a plan under all the pain.
I buried a family member this week, and have been feeling under the weather. Was around too many people maskless, and I am exempt via a Doctor for vaccines due to creating serum. My left lung hurts and I am coughing with a mild fever, I wonder if this is it? I have been here on prison planet existing without the love of my life and best friend for 22 years and I am tired of being here.
Beyond family, I have learned you can expend a lot of energy caring and supporting people. But no one sincerely cares about your emotional, physical or financial well being- people are raised to be too selfish and self serving. Only concerned about what they can get from you or what you can do for them. I think about all the people my family and I have helped along the way for years and not one of them has cared to check in on me or my family to see if we are alright during the pandemic without me first making the effort. What a waste of kindness, and effort when everyone is in survival mode. The worst is nothing your extremely wealthy friends see your suffering and instead of helping you just sit back and watch you continue to struggle. It is one of the greatest disappointments when it is within their power to empower you.
Sometimes when I go to sleep at night and close my eyes, I secretly hope not to wake up. To leave the cruelty of this world behind and wake up in the dreamy arms of the one person in my entire life that not only loved me in words, but in deed consistently. No lip service. No games. No drama. No flakiness. I dated a lot of people afterwards, many of which know nothing about loving others in a healthy way. So much so I just gave up hope of ever finding or meeting anyone, because peoples issues and drama just burned me out. Then they perceive you as either; not rich enough, skinny enough, wearing the right superficial labels or driving the right car, or your unwillingness to sponsor their gold diggeritis. It's just ridiculous and compounded with the fact peoples medical addicitions come in two, no thanks. After working in nursing, you learn so many people are just toxic and abusive. Humanity needs to change to a more loving and compassionate mindset, instead of this fear based survival exploitation mode. I was backstabbed for the last time by 2nd fiance, and by my own sister and mother last summer that I was trying to help and shall pass on being close to anyone. I trust no one anymore, as it is better to be alone than settle for less than you are worth. 90% of the planet are assholes, and the ones you think aren't are. I refuse to settle for this planets version of shit love and lust because they are ignorant to what true love and caring for another genuinely means. Grateful I did not have to spend my life searching for love or sleep around to find it when God blessed me with wonderful you, my true friend, my ally, my angel in this life and beyond.
I have survived long enough without you, I know you are proud of me, but I am ready to return home to you forever because it has been a very lonely, beautiful and disappointing journey far from the waking joyful dreams of our southern mansion surrounded by trees filled with spanish moss, sharing lemonade on a hot sunny day, skinny dippin on the beach and dancing under the southern stars with the laughter of our unborn children in the air. The world has forgotten that love, shared with those you love is everything, never take it for granted and stop wasting time listening to your own excuses that hold you back from love. Tell the people you love that you love them, that they matter, that you are grateful for their existence. See their need and meet the need without having to be asked. Make every sunrise and sunset count.
Forever Grateful for my fiance Lee being my love light in the darkness of this world and allowing me to carry that love with me like a Tesla solar backpack of love to complete the work I must do. And I have done a lot. Sweet dreams my love. Hope to see you soon if any of these variants will do their job, so to expedite matters I refused any medicine or medical treatment during the pandemic.
March 3rd, the two year countdown begins...your interstellar wife is finally coming home.
#fiance #grief #love #relationships #covid
I just got into this relationship with a girl I I like, and I’m all for it but..I don’t like getting emotionally attached, I genuinely like this girl but at the same time, I don’t want to continuously be talking/actually putting effort into anything? I’ve had the same problems with past relationships as well so I know it’s nothing that my s/o’s are doing but I just don’t know what to do.
my partner has been getting very distant with me over the past month or so and i keep nervously walking myself through the benefits of being single to brace myself for being broken up with. they’re... not the person they were when we started dating. they did a complete 180° as a person since then, and i like who they are now and enjoy talking to them even with that change, but i’m worrying.
they’ve been busy and distant, and asked for me to just label them as a partner while they question if they’re aromantic or not. but because of that i can’t tell if they’re being distant over this month to prepare me to be broken up with, or if they’re just busy and reflecting on themself. i don’t even know what i would do if we weren’t romantically involved anymore?
we’ve been together more than a year now and were best friends for years before dating - they’re my closest friend, the person i trust and open up to more than anyone ever in my life. feeling distance between us is painful and scary... sometimes i wonder if i would be happier in a romantic relationship with someone else who better fits me, if us becoming friends instead of lovers would be good and i could find someone with a matching sex drive who’s more masculine and dominant (which is more my type than they are now). but they’re so close to me and i really feel like a happy old married couple with them, like i feel secure and cared for and i have someone i trust always by my side.
i just don’t know what to do, mostly because i don’t really know if there’s anything to do at all. it basically all hinges on whether or not they’re aromantic - if they are, we’re back to being best friends. if they aren’t, we’re together still. i don’t know what i would even prefer at this point either; all that i want is, selfishly, to be #1 in their life and more important than anyone else. that’s selfish, i know, but i want them to myself and i wouldn’t be able to stand seeing him date another person... when we were best friends they dated their current friend, and seeing their relationship constantly shoved in my face when i just had a hopeful crush was so painful. i can’t even imagine having to see it and knowing i’d been effectively replaced.
i’m just scared and nervous and confused. i don’t even think being best friends would really be too horrible at the end of the day. i don’t think i even know what i want.
what the fuck do i even do, man.
I dated a horrible addict for 4 years I'm now married to a different man and have a beautiful son. It's been almost 3 years since we broke up (the addict) and I still dream about him 2-3 times per week. He was my soulmate and the love of my life. I know I can never reach out to him because I could never let someone like that into my sons life period..
Me and my girlfriend are both 20 and we’ve been together for about 2 years now. We also live together. In the beginning year of our relationship we were very sexual. Especially at night we would always makeout and touch eachother and there was a good month or two where we had sex about every night. We had sex so much in the start. Now we have sex maybe once a month if that. And we only do peck kisses and even that is rare. I’m starting to feel like I’m living with just a friend. She says she just isn’t craving sex anymore and she is just never in the mood. I jerk off a lot now and I always imagine being with other women. I’m 20 and the sexual stuff is pretty important at this time. It’s hard to just lay next to them at night and having to play on our phones until we sleep. I’d rather bang it out real quick then go back to phones. I can sense the end of our relationship coming and it’s scaring me.
#sex #gf #problems #help #relationship
I have been with my girlfriend for about 4 and a half years now. We started dating when we were in high school (i was 16 and she was just about to turn 16 in a few months). I love her more than anything in the whole world. But ever since we started dating, i lost contact with all my closest friends, both male and female. She always finds problems with them. I have been loyal to her, i never once thought about cheating.
I used to be known by everyone in my batch and the younger people. And had not one enemy because i was always friendly and kind and outgoing with people. And because of that, i was popular with people, even the teachers lived me even though im mischievous in class and school. Fuck it, even the principal knew me. Both me and my big brother who was graduated by then. I had a really good reputation and it’s not because i tried to, its because I genuinely was kind and caring while also being fun and mischievous and athletic! (I understand that i wasnt the smartest kid around). Where as my gf was mostly surrounded by 3 toxic friends who equally lacked the social skills but was feeding negative and toxic things into her mind. My girl is smart and beautiful and extremely talented in sports as well! But those friends of hers were lazy at studies, tries to act like they’re it and like they are princesses who know exactly how people are when they are just protected children who hasn’t interacted with people! (They genuinely thought that life always goes as it is in movies). They brought down her grades massively and were hiding behind my girl while she does the dirty work guided by the things they put into her mind. They are also to blame for her starting to think I’m cheating on her with other girls or doing things behind her back. My girlfriend also lacks the ability to empathize and understand people at all. I partly blame the fact that she has almost never been exposed to interacting with public and was always protected by her family. But she deeply cares and tries to protect the people closest to her. Hence, the reason she did the dirty work of those toxic friends of hers.
She told me to stop hanging out with the guys who always had my back, who have helped me even in the little things, the guys i used to have friendly rivalries in sports and gaming. They were my brothers and people who i have even considered to be my bestmen when i marry. And she knew that. But she made me to stop hanging out with them. For the littlest things, for inability to understand how boys are. Obviously boys act differently towards each other. That’s what friends are. Thats what makes us G’s. Some of my friends did warn me about her, that she and those 3 friends of hers have a bit of a bad reputation. But they all were really open to my feelings and genuinely gave her a chance and we’re friendly to her. I just wish she was the same. They were happy for me and didn’t want to do anything that would hurt my relationship badly. But when they saw that she just won’t stop with the misunderstanding and trying to push me away, they tried to do their best to pull me closer too. But none of them tried to force me out of the relationship, they all adviced me though. That i have 3 choices, fix the relationship and make her have a change of heart so i can hangout with my friends, break up with her, or let go of them. I obviously decided option 1. But sadly it didn’t work.
And from girls, there was one girl in my friend group that she hated for some little reasons. But i know if she actually tried to, they could have been really close. She was in a different class and some girls in my class were pretty popular as well. And as I mentioned, i was really close with my friends girls too. But i always kept my girlfriend above them. Even so, my girlfriend wanted me to completely stop talking to that girl she hates and she wanted me to be rude to her and hate her too. I obviously can’t do that, a bond i have cannot be just broken and turned into hate. I tried to fix the problem there and remove that hate as well. I wanted my girlfriend to see that the problem that’s there between them is a simple thing that can be fixed. But her pride and ego is too massive for her to let go. She pretended to try but didn’t put even 1% of effort in it. I gave as much effort as i can with her friends... but she didn’t. I never told her to stop talking to her friends. NEVER. I only advised her of the things I felt, and i asked her to think about it herself, she let them go only when they told her that she spends time with me more than them which is not true at all, they know it and she knows it... every person who knows about our relationship knew it’s a stupid reason to start treating her differently. So she let them go... so coming back to my story... this hate towards her the spread like a flame to the other girl in my class, which those toxic friends of hers had a massive role in. How am I supposed to stop completely talking to people in my own classroom? How am I supposed to let go of friends girl or boys who i have created a memories and strong bonds? They all tried to befriend my gf but she doesn’t try at all! In the end my teacher found out about relationship and advised me about it too but i was so blinded by love that i never listened to anyone! So i lost contact with my friends both girls and boys! We went to college where some of my closest friends went to, by then my girl did let me talk to them, but it’s as if we were acquaintances and not friends. And she still continued to judge people.
She even started these things with my family! I don’t think there is a single member in my family she hasn’t had an issue with! Even my baby cousin who just turned 4! My mother and father and brother too! Every single person! She tried to make me stay home when we planned family trips which we rarely ever get to go! But she goes on more than 20 trips a year! She doesn’t let me have time with my family bc i have to text her or call her! She blames me for her having a bad life in high school! She blames me for having a bad time in college! And now she’s having a bad time in uni. She acts as her and her family are the perfect people! And i have changed a lot! I was the most patient man you would ever meet... and i am patient towards people who aren’t my family. But I get upset quickly towards her and my family now. I dont have much fun memories in high school and at home, we’re at uni in a different country, most of my friends who were close to me dont know where i am no. I dont have social media other than one chatting app bc she made me delete them, i only have a few contacts saved on my phone. And recently when she gets angry she gets a bit physical. And she says i have changed a lot. But she never tried to understand why i have changed. She says that you only need 2 or 3 close friends. But the friends “we” have are choices of her own. She gets in the way of my decisions, where she thinks her advise is better than my own mothers. To avoid fights in my relationship and to stop a fight where she says i always choose others over her or where she says that i never take her side and say my family is always right, i follow her advise. And some of those have come back to haunt me. I sometimes think back to when i used to have fun with my friends. Or when i have fun with my family. It’s so sad, if she stopped her attitude, made the relationship we have more important to her than her pride and ego, thought of my family as her own and treated it equally, and just listen to me and trust my decisions as a man, we could make this work. She sometimes understands that she has an issue with anger. But that’s it. She says that her rude attitude is actually her being a genuine and real person. Which is bullshit. There is a line between being true and being rude which she doesn’t see. She says that she has an attitude and if i dont like it i can leave which she know that if i wanted to leave i would have gone a long time ago, she blames me for people thinking badly of her when I really tried and people really tried (and there are instances where I actually had some fake friends who were rude to her, i stood up for her and took her side. Which she doesn’t appreciate).
And I’m not an angel. I never said i was perfect, i was never said I haven’t done wrong. I have lied to her about things. But all of those lies were to hangout with my friends, or because I know she’ll freak out if i tell her, to avoid unnecessary arguments, to stop arguments. But i dont have friends to go hangout with anymore or play some games or anything. I still have to hide some little details about anything regarding females. Even if i said i had a casual conversation with a girl, I would end up in a fight. It has reduced though, she understands a bit more now. But with this rate of growth, i would be old and dead by the time she understands.
But I know she cares and loves me, she made a huge decision of giving up her medicine degree to do it later just because I couldn’t get in at the time as well. She helped me with my studies, she has stood up for me even to lecturers when i have been treated unfairly, sometimes secretly and sometimes without listening to me, because she knows that I’m too forgiving to people and too kind to people and sometimes they abuse that about me. She has made sure and advised me to not let people walk all over me just because I’m too kind and forgiving and i know if I’m hurt or injured she’ll put away everything to come for me... I truly do lover her... i couldn’t stand to leave her, i want her and need her but I just want her to understand me, who I am and what i need. I always try my best to keep her happy. I don’t want to leave her.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?!
#relationship #toxic #advise #depression #sadness #needhelp #help #love #cheating #relationshipproblems
In 3 years of relationship I cheated on my girlfriend 7 times. She didn't know anything about it but now she left me for another men.
Please God, forgive me and her for our sins.
#sins #god #forgive #relationship #cheating
My girlfriend and I have been dating for 8 months now and I feel so trapped all the time. She hates one of my friends. She always is on and on about how bitchy she is and all of this and its gotten to a point where I just smile and nod. If im not paying attention to her in a group of people, then she gets upset. I could tell her I love her so many times but she would doubt it just because I decide to talk to someone else. We're always so tense with each other. Im horrified of being around her parents because if they see me not with her or being with her then im this terrible boyfriend. She got onto me about boundaries and then passed those same boundaries with one of hour mutual friends so I told her about it and its just so shitty now. I love her so much but I don't love this. I don't want to break up with her but I want to be happy again. That's all I want..
I did bad with my mom i destroyed her beauty parlor and i sabotaged her wedding plan. Because she wasn't loyal to me.
#mom #family #son #relationship #emotion
I am in a relationship with an amazing man. I love him more than anything.
We live thousands of miles apart and parting with him was one of the toughest things ever.
I have a friend who lives in the same dorm as me.
He's shown lots of interest but I've always turned him away. He's not attractive whatsoever, but he's a good friend of mine.
On the weekends, we like to get drunk and play board games in my room.
One particular night, we were playing jenga and trying to put the game away, but I was too drunk to stand. So we both just sat on the floor, his arm draped around me while I continued to sip a drink. He looked at me and asked me, "Are you tired?"
I shook my head and finished my drink. I was extremely intoxicated at this point, but I was still aware of what was happening. He finished his last drink too and I knew he was drunk.
He helped me to my feet and lifted me in his arms (this was normal, he always did this and put me to bed before he left).
He laid me down and looked at me. In that moment I wanted him to leave like usual because I was afraid if he attempted to kiss me, I wasn't going to fight back.
Unfortunately, he leaned down and kissed me and I grabbed him and pulled him onto the bed.
We made out feverishly.
I knew what was going on and knew it was wrong but I couldn't stop.
He lifted his face from me and asked, "Want me to turn off the lights?"
I said yes, obviously. Like I said, I didn't think he was attractive.
We continued to kiss and the whole time, I imagined it was my boyfriend.
We kissed for about 20 minutes until I called a halt and told him he had to go back to his room.
He didn't argue with me. He said okay and left it at that.
After he left, I felt extremely guilty.
I still do.
#cheating #lie #wrong #relationship
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